Spring has sprung!

One of my main goals in life is to try to have a positive outlook. This goes against my natural tendency to always see - or at the very least, anticipate - the worst in a situation.

For the past couple of weeks, though, I've been having a much easier time seeing the bright side of life. Maybe it's newlywed bliss. At any rate, these are the things that are currently making me almost (dare I say it?) giddy:

• Austin has an oldies station again. We haven't had one for about a decade. I'm ridiculously excited - I was raised on a musical diet of oldies and oldies country. My time spent dancing in my car has increased by at least 417% in the past week. (The only downside is that the station seems to consider Debbie Gibson and Prince "oldies." Don't get me wrong; I love 80's music as much as the next girl, but c'mon. I was alive in the 80's. I'm not old enough to be an oldie yet, am I?)
• The weather has been fantastic. On top of that, it's a banner season for wildflowers in Texas. There are blue skies and flowers everywhere you look. The grass is green, the birds are singing... I feel like I've stumbled into a Disney cartoon. Take a look at these pictures of my niece and nephew in the bluebonnets. ADORABLE!
• As I mentioned yesterday, we booked our honeymoon. There's not much in life I enjoy as much as I enjoy vacation planning. The fact that Achilles and I are both art history buffs and we're going to Greece makes the planning even more fun.
• It's Friday! I don't work this weekend! I have no wedding or comedy performance to plan! Tonight, a few friends and I are hanging out by the pool and barbecuing. Achilles and I are also going to hang out with two of our best friends from childhood/high school - one who just got engaged (congrats David!) and one who's in town from San Francisco with her husband (who, incidentally, is one of the most laid-back people I've ever met). I'm hoping for lots of trivia, board games, and silly conversation.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend Internets!

Family Interlude

Dear Internets,

Is it really almost the weekend? I have been all kinds of out of it this week. I blame an inner ear dizziness thing and a week's worth of insomnia.

The high point of my week was seeing my nephew on Wednesday. When I stopped by my mom's house for lunch, he was standing shirtless in the living room watching WALL-E. Charlie is almost as obsessed with the movie as I am. He is also sort of in love with EVE. Whenever EVE would come on the screen, he'd scream "EEEEEVVVAAAAAAA!!!" at the top of his lungs. (My mom and I kept trying to get him to scream "STELLLLLAAAA," but we didn't have any luck.) Twas hilarious anyway.

In other family news, my sister finds out the sex of her baby this weekend. Personally, I'm hoping for cuddly. (I'll settle for adorable.) I have a little stuffed fox that comes with a baby fox for Charlie. I think it's supposed to be a mama/baby fox, but I'm going to tell Charlie it's big brother with his little brother/little sister (depending on the results of the ultrasound). It'll be an exciting couple of days.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend yourself, Internets!

Love,
Jane

Saturday Night Fever

Dear Internets,

As (I think) I've mentioned before, I've been teaching/tutoring a class of high school boys for the past few weekends. I think the most frustrating thing about them is that just when I've gotten to the point that I'm ready to commit murder if it would get them to behave, out of nowhere they'll start acting like perfectly reasonable individuals. I'll start to question my judgment, like maybe I was imagining the bad behavior in the first place. Then something will set them off and we're back to square one. I could swear they're practicing for future relationships.

Aside from the frustrations of trying to figure out how to get adolescent boys to just sit still already (and an ear infection), the past few days have been pretty awesome. I was in such a good mood after finishing my C# training yesterday that I decided to make like a 1950's housewife and cook a pot roast for dinner (with a little bit of help from Achilles - raw meat kind of grosses me out). I made apple crisp for dessert. Both turned out pretty well, which made me happy.

[I hope staying in on a Friday night doesn't make me sound pathetic; even in my "WOOO!! Party!" days, I never really liked to go out on Friday nights (I need my transitions) so my new habit of cooking and catching up on my DVR-ed television programs suits me well.]

I'm in training for job #2 for the rest of the day today, and then tonight (if my ear infection isn't getting any worse) Achilles and I are headed to a 1970's party. Here's a picture we took in my friend's kitchen last year before we headed to the party:



Hopefully Achilles doesn't kill me for putting his picture on the Internets. Have a great weekend!

Love,
Jane

ACL Fest-trations

Dear Internets,

There will be 5-6 people (and my 65-lb dog) staying at my two bedroom condo this weekend for ACL Fest.

Um, it seemed like a good idea when A asked if it would be OK? (Also, there was a free ticket involved...)

I have spent the last few days furiously cleaning. And by cleaning, of course, I mean making sure that my files are in order, none of my toiletries are expired, and my CD's are all in their proper cases. Because who cares if there's a ring around the bathtub when there is a W2 from 2004 stuck in with the mortgage paperwork from 2007?

(Um, I don't do well under pressure. Ahem. Also, there is no ring around the bathtub. Anymore.)

On the brighter side of things, in about 48 hours I will (hopefully) be dancing and singing blissfully along with the Old 97's. [Dear Rhett Miller, if you're reading this, I probably won't make it nearly as close to the front of the stage as I usually get. In fact, I may even watch from the "chairs" section in the back. It doesn't mean I don't still love you guys. ACL is just hotter and more elbow-y than most Old 97's shows. XOXO, Jane] One of our friends from Arkansas who is staying with us is also a huge Old 97's fan, and A really likes them too. I am hoping the show will make the whole (stressful) weekend worth it.

I haven't gone through and picked out the other shows I want to see. This is the schedule:

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3

Who should I check out? Are there any awesome bands I shouldn't miss? Have I reached the age where the little teenagers and college kids are going to laugh at my creepy old-person-dancing?

I have to miss a big chunk of Sunday because I have to work, but I'll probably appreciate a break from the heat at that point. I was hoping the nicer cooler weather would last, but no dice: highs will be in the 90's (34 C). That's better than a few years ago, though, when the official high was 108 (42.2 C). Mmm.... sweaty hipsters (and hippies - we still have a few of those).

Love always,
Jane

Pre-Weekend Rambling

Dear Job,

I like you, but you make my brain hurt sometimes.

Sometimes I think I'm mostly right-brained person with a completely left-brained job. Actually, I don't know if I'm right-brained or left-brained; if I blog before work, I find it difficult to switch gears and look at computer code and spreadsheets; if I wait until after I get off work to blog, it's like my creative juices are all dried up.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm super-excited that the weekend is here, except that it will be mostly spent doing the following:

• unpacking/organizing
• working at job #2
• going to Home Depot for random stuff that I don't really want to spend money on, but need so that my condo doesn't crumble completely into a pile of rubble and squalor
• bathing my (70-lb, hates-to-be-bathed) dog
• moving my betta upstairs/hoping he survives the move
• studying
  

We are going to the UT/Rice game. The weather has been absolutely amazing this week - highs in the mid-80's, so that will be nice.

I am going to stop now... This is getting painful to read. [Turn off already, Left Brain! It's Friday.]

Love always,
Jane

I promise I'm not just listing minor celebrities to attract Googlers

Dear Blog,

I hope you enjoyed your long weekend off. This weekend was seriously filled with moment after moment of "oh my gosh I need to tell my Blog about that." Well, mostly. But we'll get to that.

Friday, I was pretty much exhausted after subsisting on caffeine all week (it's a vicious cycle, I tell you). So after I went to dinner with A (Threadgill's, mmmm....), I passed out, my tummy filled with delicious fried okra, macaroni and cheese, and steamed broccoli (the broccoli canceled out the mac & cheese & fried-ness, in case you were wondering). Going to bed early was a good call, really, because I had to get up early to work at job #2.

I had left my wallet and driver's license at job #1 on Friday, so I stopped by the office to get it on my way out to Small Town*, Texas. (*Name changed to protect the guilty. Forget what you may have learned from watching "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or "To Catch a Predator"; if there's anything small town police officers in Texas are notorious for, it's giving out tickets to out-of-towners. Considering my lead foot and my burned-out right brake light, I wasn't taking any chances.) I stopped to let the security guard know that I was going in the building, and he said, "Go on in, Sugar, thanks for letting me know." [Note to any stranger who calls me "Sugar," "Mija," "Honey," or "Little Mama": I love you.] [Note to the building where I work: you are scary as heck after hours.]

After picking up my wallet and practically sprinting away from my scary office building, I drove for about an hour through rolling green hills to get to Small Town. When I arrived, it was about 76 degrees outside and the air smelled like barbecue. For the first time (probably in my whole life) I considered that living in a small town might not be as bad as I'd always thought. However, five hours, 20 degrees, and 55 high school students telling stories about their Friday night exploits later (got drunk after the football game, went to "Wallmarts," bought baseball bats, "smayshed stuff") I quickly came back to my senses.

After I got off work, A and I headed to campus for the football game. A friend of a friend of a friend had a big tailgate party set up, and we ate and drank for free until it was time to head to the stadium to see Vince Young's number get retired. I have to say, of all the local celebrities I saw this weekend, I got most excited about VY. (I think I might officially love him more than Major Applewhite; Major broke my heart when I issued him a cashier's check so that he could go buy an engagement ring. Sigh.)

The football game was great, although it was a bit surreal. They just finished renovating the stadium, so in addition to the old standbys like Godzillatron, the heavily-sedated Bevo, Smokey the Canon, and Big Bertha the giant drum, there were 98,000 people, pyrotechnics, fireworks, a bunch of celebrities and a baton twirler throwing flaming batons. It was a bit overwhelming, honestly. After Vince Young, Kevin Durant, Major Applewhite and Gail Goestenkors (assistant Olympic basketball coach) all made triumphant returns to UT via Godzillatron, I said to A, "Good grief. All we need now is Matthew McConaughey to show up, and we'll have a complete set of recent beloved Longhorns."

At that exact moment, Matthew McConaughey's face lit up the screen. He was on the field with his girlfriend who looked lovely, but a bit terrified, holding either their baby or a sack of potatoes in a sling. (A's brother, who was on the sidelines, later confirmed that Matthew's girlfriend was indeed holding their baby. Considering that football fields aren't exactly the safest place in the world for babies - good going Matthew - I figured that explained the look of terror on her face).

Despite normally being a very loyal fan, it was just too hot to be loud, wear orange, OR stay late. Feeling dehydrated, hungry, and tired, we left with a couple of minutes to go in the fourth quarter (Dear Vince, Major, Mack, et al: I'm sorry. I did come early. Does that redeem me at all?) I loaded up on tomato pie and water and headed to bed.

Sunday, I checked my email to make sure that I had the correct time and contact information for Saving Diva. We were going to meet for ice cream later that afternoon - or so I thought. To my horror, I found out that Saving and I had gotten our dates crossed, and I had inadvertently stood her up on Saturday. I felt (and still feel) super guilty. I owe her a dark chocolate ice cream cone or two. I probably need to attend the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, so that I don't mis-read emails in the future. (Sorry again, Saving.)

Sunday evening, A and I loaded our running gear and iPods and headed downtown to run in the Nike Human Race. Aaron "HottieMcHotPants" "Olympic swimmer that I respect tremendously" Peirsol started the hot, hilly Austin race. The man that sold me my first pair of running shoes had the fastest time in Austin; Lance Armstrong finished 6th (is there anything he can't do?), and Matthew McConaughey finished 128th. I did not finish first, 6th, or 128th, although I did finish in the top half of the world, if you count the people who didn't show up.

After drinking gallons and gallons of water (the theme of this weekend was "dehydration") and eating a couple of slices of pizza, I went to sleep.

I woke up early, took Bailey on a long walk, went to visit my grandmother (who was in town for the weekend), took my sister a coffee because she had to work (on Labor Day! Blasphemy!) and then headed to my friend Kat's house for a barbecue. I lasted until about 5:30, when I headed home and slept until I had to get up for work this morning.

And that is about it. I realize that this is about 20 times longer (yet not, unfortunately, 20 times more interesting) than most of my blog posts. I will try to go back to being my normal, more concise self tomorrow.

Love, as always,
Jane

Grape stomp, grape stomp... You're my grape stomp

Dear Internets,

In a few minutes, I'm off to go stomp on some grapes. I hope they make everyone wash their feet first, or I may never drink wine again. Actually, that is a lie. I will probably just convince myself that the alcohol (and the tannins... yeah, the tannins...) kill germs. Which would directly contradict everything my high school chemistry teacher told us when we made wine as a chemistry experiment, but hey, he didn't want to be responsible for underage teenagers drinking at school, right? He had to tell us it was essentially poisonous. I'm sure it's all bacteria-free.

In other news, I was supposed to go running this morning, but I had either a rich food hangover or mild food poisoning* from last night. Which is a bummer, because my meal - tomato pie and poblano soup - was absolutely delicious, and in an ideal world I could eat it over and over again with no fear of dire consequences. It is also kind of a bummer because I haven't been running in a week, and am beginning to feel very lazy.

*That's probably too much information.

Love ya Internets!
Jane

Hawaiian Shirt Day

Dear Friday,

You are dragging like a bag full of... heavy, wet things that are hard to drag. Please stop this ASAP. I can only make so many trips to the water machine/bathroom...

Love,
Jane

P.S. You do have a little mystery, Friday. One of the tiny pink paper cranes I made out of half of a mini Post-It is missing from the small paper crane colony at my desk. The other three are undisturbed and accounted for, so I'm really not sure what happened to him. If you could call Miss Marple, that would be extremely helpful.

Only one little pink paper crane. How sad. She'll probably get stuck with the little yellow crane at the kids' table at Thanksgiving.

But wait...



It's Swingline and the Amazing Technicolor DreamCrane!



Disaster is averted. Could it be true love?

Weekend Weirdness Rambling

Dear Internets,

Oh, the weekend, it was weird.

Friday, my mom called me and told me that I'd gotten a package in the mail. I hadn't been expecting anything (especially not delivered to my parents' house) so I asked her to open it.

It was a cell phone.

I immediately started getting visions of getting one of those phone calls that starts with a vague threat and ends with me running across the city with 20,000 deutschmarks in a desperate attempt to stop my boyfriend/a madman/a disgruntled former employee of my workplace from getting himself arrested/kidnapping a family member/blowing up the city, all while dramatic music plays in the background. I didn't even have my running shoes on!

Fortunately, it turned out to be some weird marketing ploy, so the only dramatic decision I'll have to make is whether or not to sell the phone on eBay.

Saturday morning, I was running late for my training group, and ended up getting a speeding ticket. The ticket said I was going 70 in a 60, but I later re-drove the route and realized it was really 70 in a 65. It's tempting to attempt to contest the ticket on those grounds, but really, I was speeding and deserved to get pulled over. While I can definitely think of many MANY ways I'd rather spend $150, I have no one to blame for the expense but myself and my lead foot.

After my lonely run (the group was gone by the time I finally arrived) I headed to work at the second job for a few hours. Thankfully, the morning at work passed without any major snafus. After work, we took Bailey out to the lake (he loved the water, hated actually swimming) and then met a friend out for dinner. My friend has just finished student teaching, and had awesome stories to tell.

Sunday, I took Bailey on a walk, read a magazine out by the pool for a couple of hours, went to work yet again, bought groceries for the week, and then split a pitcher of beer with a friend at a local pub.

I took Bailey with me to the pub. I used to brag that I had exposed him to almost everything recommended by his puppy kindergarten teacher as part of his puppy socialization. However, last night I realized I'd missed at least one thing: cigarettes. A lady was smoking outside the entrance (the smoking ban really just moves smokers out to the sidewalks), and wanted to discuss how much her dog looked like Bailey. Bailey found her absolutely terrifying, and hid behind my legs until she went away. I found the whole situation amusing in a kind of "wow, what a sheltered life we lead, Bales and I," kind of way.

I think that's enough rambling for now, Internets. I hope your weekend was enjoyable.

Love,
Jane

Pontoon-i-tude

Dear Internets,

So this weekend, I'm going out on a pontoon boat to help celebrate my friend Aaron's birthday. Normally, I would avoid the midday summer sun like the pasty little sea cucumber* I am, but it's a surprise party for Aaron, my trivia team's leader extraordinaire. Aaron is probably the nicest, most laid-back guy in the world. (He didn't even get mad when I convinced him - incorrectly - that Mars wasn't the planet with two moons**, and that it had to be one of the "new" planets.)

So I figure I will suck it up, pack my SPF 75, and brave the summer heat to help him celebrate. It won't be that hot on the lake, right?

Love,
Jane

*Supposedly, sea cucumbers are nocturnal. Also, I really do enjoy the sun. I just enjoy it slightly less when it's over 100 degrees (Farenheit) outside most of the time.
**In my defense, he was convinced that Io (my favorite moon) was one of Mars' two moons. Since I was positive that Io was one of Jupiter's moons, I managed to convince him he didn't know what he was talking about. I'm tricky like that.

TGI... no, I just can't say it

Dear Internets,

You know those people who go around all week asking everyone if it's Friday yet? And then on Fridays, they go around saying either "TGIF, right?" or "Is it 5:00 yet?"

Today may turn me into one of those people... The day has just dragged. [I think it's because I'm still licking my wounds from being yelled at by a security guard this morning. (I was daydreaming and accidentally drove to the wrong parking garage.) I don't know why it upset me. The guards are a grouchy bunch that just really like to yell. But still... It didn't exactly set the tone for a great day.]

Hopefully this weekend will be better. I'm working at my second job, building a flower bed on my back patio, and possibly going to watch a bike race.

I hope you have a quiet, non-yelly weekend.

XOXO,
Jane

Spoil Sport

Dear Inner Tubes,

I like you just fine at water parks, but I have absolutely no desire to sit in you and float down a slow-moving river for hours.

My name is Jane, and I hate tubing.

Some of my friends have a hard time understanding this.

Friends: "We're gonna go on a float trip this weekend, it's gonna be awesome. You've gotta come."
Jane: "No thanks."
Friends: "No, you don't understand. We're gonna float the river. In the sun. We're taking beer. It's gonna be awesome."
Jane: "No really, I'd rather not. I don't really care for tubing."
Friends: "No seriously, you don't understand. It's gonna be awesome. It's supposed to be like a hundred and two out, no clouds in the sky. And it hasn't rained in months, so the river should be super slow."
Jane: "But I'll get sunburned... And since I don't really enjoy tubing, I'd rather avoid getting burned."
Friends: "No, silly, you wear sunscreen. Duh."
Jane: "Let's talk about unicorns. "

It isn't that I don't understand how tubing could appeal to a lot of people. It's just that it's not for me.

Top 10 reasons I don't enjoy tubing:

1. I am paler than Jim Gaffigan. After an hour in the water/sun, I will burn, no matter how many times I reapply the SPF 55.
2. All that sunscreen? Will make me break out (even if I get the noncomedogenic stuff. There's only so much you can slather on your pores without clogging them). Sure, pimples on a sunburned face may sound like a one-way ticket to hotness...
3. I get seasick more easily than anyone I know. I get carsick when I'm the one driving. I can't even watch a surfing movie without feeling a little queasy. All that bobbing up and down? Not so fun for Jane.
4. I don't really enjoy sitting in the sun drinking beer for hours on end. When my friends get back from a day of tubing, they are dehydrated and already hungover, and spend the night and the next day recovering. That's the whole weekend! One only gets so many weekends in life (especially when one has a second job).
5. I just can't sit still that long... I get antsy. Sure, drunken frat boys/sorority girls provide *some* entertainment, but if I enjoyed seeing strangers' naughty bits, I'd just order "Girls Gone Wild."
6. It is kind of expensive to rent inner tubes. And a pain to haul them around.
7. I don't really like lounging in a bathing suit around a bunch of strangers. I am not uncomfortable with my body - I just don't really like sitting around in the equivalent of my underoos.
8. "No one volunteered to be the designated driver? Wow, since I'm not drinking, I guess that makes me DD. Nothing better than driving a bunch of drunks with sand in their britches 40 miles each way." **Insert sarcasm here.**
9. Gas is expensive (see above). Sometimes drunk people aren't the best at forking over gas money. I'm just sayin...
10. If I went with my friends on all of their adventures, they would have no stories to tell. And I do love a good story, even if it's of the "So-and-so fell out of their tube reaching for a beer" variety.

So, Inner Tubes... I think we should just be penpals for now. I'll give you a call the next time I go to Schlitterbahn.

Love,
Jane

The Opposite of Blues

Dear Friday p.m.,

I love you so very, very much.

Love,
Jane

Manic Monday

Dear Bangles,

It is still Sunday, but I am already feeling the pain you expressed so eloquently in your hit song. Why are the weekends only two days long?

Yours,
Jane