Thursday, May 28, 2009

Decaf

Dear Internets,

I noticed that the number/quality of my blog posts dramatically declined at exactly the same time my doctor told me to quit drinking caffeine.

I think there must be a correlation, but my brain is not working fast enough to figure out what the relationship might be.

Love,
Jane

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Things that go bump in parking lots

Dear Internets,

If you're ever in a completely minor car accident, please don't sue. Even if it's the other person's fault, no one wins.

On the other hand, I got $50 in jury pay and the afternoon off work, so maybe there was a winner in this case.

Love,
Jane

Friday, May 15, 2009

Happy Weekend

Dear Internets,

How is it possible that my to-do list grew 1005% bigger over my four day vacation? How is that even allowed? I have jury duty next week, so I imagine the list will only get longer. Is it morally and/or legally wrong to Twitter from the courthouse?

In other news, some of my bloggy friends have seemed sad lately. If you have time, stop by and remind them how awesome they are.



Kim, Rachel, Jane, and Talia, this one's for you.

Love,
Jane

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Guess who's back?

Dear Internets,

We're back from Puerto Rico! The trip was lovely, although Achilles was sick for most of it. He didn't have swine flu, though, so I still think the trip was a win.

Since photo posts tend to make my attention span go out the window, I figured I'd limit this post to a few of my more interesting pictures. Sadly for you, I chose not to take pictures of the Sea School: Law School of the Sea or the cockfighting arena by our hotel.


Flaminco Beach, on Culebra. Our favorite beach. The water was lovely, and the sand was soft and white. I kept thinking to myself, "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives..." I don't know if the beach was empty because it wasn't the weekend, but there were only a few other people there.


El Morro (I think).


Sunset at the beach by our hotel (in Isla Verde).


Coconuts: the other other white meat.
Jane: the other other other white meat.



An iguana in the parking lot of the Bacardi factory. When you hear bushes rustling in Texas, it's probably a squirrel. In Puerto Rico, it's probably some kind of reptile. This takes some getting used to.


I think this picture sums up the trip really well. Poor Achilles.

I don't really want to connect my full name to this blog, but if you promise you are not a scary person, I'll send you a link to the full Facebook album of our trip. Just send me an email or leave a comment.

Love,
Jane

P.S. If you ever have a chance to visit Puerto Rico, do it. It is inexpensive and awesome.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Oompa loompa do ba dee doo

Dear Spray Tan Lady,

I look a little... orange today. I probably deserve it, though. After all, my hair would probably be red and my skin freckled if I ever ventured out into the sunlight. I should have known better than to think I could look at all "natural" with a tan.

Love,
Your friendly neighborhood vampire Oompa Loompa

****

Dear ACL Fest,

Why did you already sell out of tickets? Don't you know I need time to endlessly weigh fairly pointless facts against each other before ultimately just going with my gut? However, not having tickets myself might give me an excuse to avoid letting a friend of a friend stay at my house for the festival. Hmm...

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Internets,

You agreed with Achilles. Retro or not, some foods are just white trashy. I'm not putting away my Jello mold* anytime soon, though. I still think some of those foods are delicious.

Love,
Jane

*I don't really have a Jello mold. But I could see how having one could be really fun.

***

Dear To-Do List,

Holy crap. Why are you so long? Don't you know we're leaving for Puerto Rico tomorrow? Don't you know that the Internets needs my love and attention?

No love for you,
Jane