Muppets and Pageant Hair

Hola Internets!

I got my hair cut today, so I currently have pageant hair.


Not much else is new. My friends and I had a gift exchange this weekend, and my friend (who is obsessed with the Muppets) asked for something homemade, so I made her these:

I molded them out of modeling clay, and then painted them:

Here they are individually:

I put them in a Kermit lunchbox with some soaps from Anthropologie, OPI nail polish in Gettin' Miss Piggy With It, and a Simple Diary.

She almost cried when she opened the ornaments, which means I think I won the gift exchange. (What's that you say? Gift exchanges aren't a competition? Pshaw.)

My friend Ashley also won the gift exchange by giving me Uni-corn corn holders, a cross-stitching of a text she sent me that says "You are the Ann to my Leslie," and a One Line a Day Diary:

Unicorns, a Parks & Rec reference, and a non-traditional diary? You had me at unicorns.

We are headed to Hanukkah dinner now, so I'll have to save pictures from my other (more horse mask-focused gift exchange) for later.

Happy holidays Internets!

P.S. The Muppets were inspired by these most magnificent Cake Pops.

Does this make me a hipster?

I tweeted this like, wayyyyy before the other millions of people were hating on Rick Perry.

Hashtag options:

#toldyousoTexas

#AdiosMoFo?

#Idislikepoliticiansthatdon'tevenexistyet

The jury is still out.

Winter Procrastination

Sad Bailey is Sad

Not much is going on in my life at this moment, Internets, except my own procrastination. I am sitting in front of my fireplace, drinking a cider (with a teenytiny shot of cinnamon whiskey), looking at our Christmas decorations, and thinking about paying some bills.

I'm enjoying having evenings off.

Yes, the chickens have stockings

We ate fondue and put up our tree on my day off yesterday.

Abe cut off my feet when he took my picture, so I cut off his in retaliation.

I love wintertime.

Peektures

I've been sort of obsessed with Instagram lately ever since I finally got an iPhone.

It makes my usually somewhat blurry/bizarre/crappy photos look halfway decent.

Here are some of my favorites. (I kind of want to make the last one into a poster and put it up on my wall.)

P.S. Yes, Abe was Colonel Angus for Halloween. I don't know.

Horses horses horses

I have many posts I would like to write about many things.

Instead, I will show you a picture of part of a Secret Santa gift I'm putting together.

It is gonna be epic.

Also, on an unrelated note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEE!

I am old.

The end.

Christmas spirit

Normally, I don't get super into Christmas. It lacks the irreverence of Halloween, the relaxed atmosphere of Memorial Day or Labor Day, the food (mmm, the food) of Thanksgiving. Add in my recent grumpiness and anxiety, and the whole holiday makes me more jittery than jovial.

Recently, though, I've decided to turn over a new leaf and be more positive. In that spirit, I decided to watch a Christmas movie a day in November and December (my friend Ashley is joining me). Here is my schedule:

November
14. The Miracle of Morgan's Creek
15. Gremlins
16. A Midwinter's Tale
17. A Christmas Carol/Scrooge (1951)
18. We're No Angels (1955)
19. R Xmas
20. Love Actually
21. Home Alone
22. The Holiday
23. The Muppet Christmas Carol
24. A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
25. Mickey's Christmas Carol
26. Holiday Inn
27. Bad Santa
28. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (live action)
29. Olive the Other Reindeer
30. Comfort & Joy

December
1. White Christmas
2. Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
3. Prancer
4. The Christmas Box
5. The Shop Around the Corner
6. Trading Places
7. Frosty the Snowman
8. The Bishop's Wife
9. Santa Claus the Movie
10. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
11. The Nightmare Before Christmas
12. Babes in Toyland
13. Christmas in Connecticut
14. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
15. The Santa Clause
16. The Polar Express
17. Blackadder's Christmas Carol
18. Miracle on 34th Street
19. Scrooged
20. Eight Crazy Nights
21. A Christmas Story
22. Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
23. It's a Wonderful Life
24. Elf
25. A Charlie Brown Christmas

I tried to mix in some of my favorites with some movies I haven't seen, and in general, tried to go in order of increasing Christmasy-ness. (I had to include a Hanukkah movie and a Thanksgiving special.) I'll update with links sometime when I'm not typing this on a 15-minute break from work.

Is there anything I'm missing? What are your favorite Christmas movies?

It rained a little

It rained a little yesterday, and (paradoxically?) the sun began to shine a little in my cloudy crazy head.

I've been too caught up in my job and personal life. I miss creating things. I want to sew cute bags, and do comedy, and find 101 ways to cook the eggs that are filling up my fridge. (Anyone want a dozen fresh eggs? Anyone? I'm serious.)

Anyway. This video is cool and made with real jelly beans.

It never rains in Austin except on my head

Oh Internets.

Life has not been super bueno around these parts.

• The weekend after Crazy Poop Lady left her mark on our front door, a drunk driver (Crazy Drunk Lady #2) drove into both Abe's and my parked cars. Neither was totaled, but the insurance situation is a mess - it was a hit & run, she's now in jail and not responding to the insurance company's requests for a statement, etc.
• My job (which used to consist of mostly lovely interactions with lovely people) has lately mostly involved getting yelled at on the phone about things that aren't in my control. And two of my good friends and favorite coworkers are probably going to be let go.
• We are about to put my condo on the market, and some unexpected repairs and fees (along with the vehicle repair nonsense) have us feeling a little financially strained.

I know so many people have things way worse - but I'm feeling run down. I wind up in tears from stress and anxiety pretty much every day. When neighbors knock on the door, my heart races and I wonder what horrible thing is about to happen. I'm irritable and grumpy - I'm sure I'm a joy to be around. Abe is so stressed enough about his new job that I'm reluctant to dump my problems on him.

I don't know what to do. Am I depressed or just sad? Anxious or just reacting logically to recent events?

Maybe in a few weeks I'll be back to my glass-is-half-full self, and have everything figured out again. I sure hope so.

Thanks for letting me vent, Internets.

Pooped

Dear Internets,

I finally got a laptop (I love you, my lovely MacBook Pro). I'm finding it much more tempting to blog now that I'm not hen-pecking on an iPad.

Things are mostly good around these parts. Bullet points update on the goings-on at the Distractible household:

• I've been at my "new" job 10 months. I work from home, and for the most part, I really like it.
• We're getting the condo ready to sell.
• Abe started work as a police officer, and for the most part, he really likes it.
• The chickens started laying eggs. We average about two a day.
• Bailey is awesome. He loves having me home all the time. We're thinking of doing a joint Halloween costume: him as a dalmatian, and me as Cruella de Vil.
• We have another insane neighbor.

Wait, you say. What was that last one?

Well, we have another poop-smearing neighbor. She lives a few houses down, apparently. I say "apparently" because in the past 10 months, while we've seen and waved to her husband and daughters, we had never interacted with (or really even seen) her.

This all changed Saturday night when she tried to force her way into our house while drunk and on some type of drugs. She smeared blood (her own) and feces (hopefully not her own) all over our door. Her hands and feet were both bare.

We are not sure what, if anything, we did to make her angry. She said something about our dog, but Bailey doesn't bark, poop in neighbors' yards, or do anything that could possibly anger someone enough to go on a late-night poop-smearing expedition (as far as we know - he does spend an hour or two a week alone). She was arrested yesterday for something unrelated to the turd terrorism, so probably she's just nuts. (It was her second arrest this month, so if I had to guess...)

Anyway, that's what we're up to. Hopefully my lovely MacBook Pro will entice me to blog a little more often and my nutty neighbor will stay in jail. Miss you all.

Love,

Jane

Placeholder

Dear Internets,

I'm trying to decide what to do with this blog. It somehow got integrated into Google+, and I can't figure out the privacy settings. I know there's always a chance that people-from-real-life will find my blog, but one or two internet-savvy friends is different than everyone who might add me on Google+.

People say you shouldn't blog anything you wouldn't want to read on the front page of a newspaper, but I'm not worried about that. I'm more concerned about accidentally offending people because I'm not a very good writer. (Several of my Facebook friends took offense to my stand up; they thought it was a purposeful attack. I'm still not sure exactly what they were talking about.)

Anyhoo, I'm sure I'll figure something out eventually.

Hope you're well,

Jane

Sunday afternoon

Hola Internets!

I've had a busy-ish couple of weeks.

I took the Friday before last off work, and Abe and I went to go see the Old 97's (The good: um, it was the Old 97's! And Rhett Miller & Sarah Jaffe sang "Fireflies"! The bad: many people there were not superfans. I caught a guy using Shazam during "Barrier Reef." Not cool, dude. The ugly: the AC was broken at La Zona Rosa. I almost melted into a simmering puddle until I realized dropping ice cubes down the front of my dress made the heat almost bearable.)

I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with friends, which I haven't been able to do much since I started working nights. We saw Texas Roller Derby, ate the most delicious hot dogs ever, and hung out at my friend's pool. It was lovely.

Then I caught a cold, slept for two days, and coughed my way through the rest of the past (busy, hot) week. The only things I managed to accomplish were reading Mike Birbiglia's book (I read it in one night - it was a great way to make insomnia a little more hilarious) and feeding the chickens cherry tomatoes.

How've you been, Internets?

Chickens and bullet points

Howdy Internets!

What's been going on? I have had a busy few months (if we can mutually decide that "busy" means I got a new job that involves working from home 100% of the time, and the resulting lack of structure and pajama-wear-as-workwear has led to my transformation into a complete sloth).

We have had some interesting new adventures at the Distractible household:

• We've settled into the house, and are fixing the condo up so that we can rent it out.
• Abe started the police academy.
• These little guys joined our family:

• ...and quickly grew into gangly teenagers...

• ...who are now very lovely ladies who will (hopefully) soon be laying delicious eggs.
• I watched an excessive amount of Netflix.
• Random other things that seemed important at the time also occurred.

So what's new Internets? Have you too been watching an excessive amount of recorded television? Or have you been extremely productive in a way that will make me feel guilty and slightly jealous? Do you have new pets? New boyfriends? New children?

I missed you!

Janey's back. Back again.

Dear Internets,

I missed you.

Love,
Jane

P.S. I figured this was the easiest way to break the silence.

Lack of internets, lack of interesting...

I haven't had much internet access for the past couple of weeks. The few times I've logged in to Google Reader, I saw the ever-growing number of unread posts, cringed and/or sighed, and immediately closed my browser. It's all just too much to take in. I'm afraid I'll miss something.

My own life has been delightfully dull lately. In fact, this past week when my new employer had me take a "stress levels" test, I realized I'm less anxious and unhappy than I have been in ages.

[True story Internets: contentment does not generally lead me to produce good writing. Apparently, my creative engines run on strife and diet soda.]

Things are about to pick back up; Abe is starting the police academy next week, and I'm settling in to my new schedule working from home. I'm sure I'll get back into a worrying/blogging routine soon enough.

Until then, I think I'm going to enjoy the lull.

(lessthanthree)

Oh Internets.

I love ya.

Love,
Sandra (aka Jane)

I Wish Wednesday

I wish...

...Santana would sing more songs on Glee.

...cable news was more about being a journalist than being a jerk.

...people with smartphones would stop telling me how awesome their phones are.

...I had a smartphone.

...my taxes would magically do themselves.

...I still had lots of extra time to putter around on the Internets.

...it would stay warmer (but not *too* warm) for a while.

...my house and laundry would clean themselves.

What do you wish Internets?

Cold weather and house pictures

Y'all. It's so cold and windy outside.

Abe went to Costco, but I prefer to experience the howling of the wind from the comfort of my pajamas. I don't know about you, but I believe that people who live in places with months of 100+ degree weather should be allowed to whine and sit inside by the fire when it gets cold enough to kill the aloe vera plants.

Ergo: wah!

I got sort of bored with whining (who knew that was possible?), so I decided to take some crappy cell phone pictures* of the kitchen/dining area of our house in its still-in-progress state.

*I still haven't packed and moved my camera charger because I'm lazy.

This is the kitchen/dining area:

Likes: the fireplace, the big window, over the sink, the color of the kitchen cabinets.

Dislikes: SoMuchBrick!, tile floors, kitchen lighting.

I'd like to paint the brick and take down the mantle, but 1.) I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to do that, and 2.) I'm afraid we might be overwhelmed by too much white space on the walls.

The tile floors would be great, except that they weren't sealed well when they were installed, and are prone to staining and sucking in dirt like weird little tile vacuums.

I'm not sure what we'll do about the lighting.

This is a better picture of the kitchen:

(Note the little bird salt and pepper shakers to the left of the fruit bowl. Love them.)

We painted the kitchen and dining area much brighter colors when we moved in (previously, the rooms were a combination of beige, dark grey, and wall-to-wall wood paneling). I love how bright the kitchen is.

On the other hand, I wish the countertops were solid surface instead of tile. I also have a love/hate relationship with the mini blinds. While the kitchen gets fantastic light during the day, and I love being able to open the blinds to let the sun in, the mini blinds are sort of ugly. Abe hates curtains, so I'm guessing we'll end up getting Venetian blinds or something similar.

I doubt that we'll upgrade the appliances (except maybe the fridge) since it's not our house.

So that is that.

In other news, here is a picture of Bailey looking pensive by the fire:

And here he is doing his Mrs. White impression:

"Fl- flames... Flames on the side of my face!"

And I think it's time for me to put the cell phone down now.

Greener thumbs and pastures

I just accidentally "marked all as read" in Google Reader. It was super frustrating (but oddly strangely liberating at the same time). I hope I didn't miss anything important on the Internets. I pride myself on my blog stalking.

****

I start my new job tomorrow. Yikes!

****

Does you know of any good landscaping blogs? (As in the garden part of "home and garden," not personal grooming.) I have found more home design blogs than I have time to read, but my only inspiration for gardening at the moment is an old DVD of The Secret Garden. I'm not sure that Abe can stand listening to me wander around saying, "I'm in the gahhhhden... with Co-linnn...." so any suggestions are appreciated.

****

Have a great week!

Musings of the museless

source

With all my free time I have this week, I should really be doing nothing but writing (comedy, blog posts... something!), but it hasn't worked out that way. I choose to blame my spotty internet connection and the fact that I store all of my documents "in the cloud." (I'm also really nervous that I'm not going to get this all straightened out before I start working from home next week, so I've spent a lot of time biting my nails and/or on the phone with various tech support people.)

No ability to focus = random thoughts. On to the bullet points!

• I took my nephew with me to the feed store this morning so that I could make sure they sold the breed of chicks I'm hoping to get. (They do.) Charlie seemed a little afraid of the baby chicks and ducklings, but wanted to run onto the loading dock to get a better look at the heavy lifting equipment. Little boys are funny. I bought him a cap gun, because it seemed like the most irresponsible thing in the store (aside from the heavy lifting equipment). I imagine that when Abe and I have kids, payback will not be fun.
• My friend's dog had puppies. As much as I want to go sit in a box full of puppies and have them climb all over me, I think instead I'm going to send her my thoughts on dog breeding and ask her if she feels comfortable discussing the issue with me. Hopefully, she won't breed her dog again.
• We have had some interest from renters about our condo, which is kind of a relief and a stressor at the same time. I'm too young to be a landlady!
• I was almost run over by a speeding FedEx truck today while taking in the recycling bin. The driver saw me at the last minute and swerved out of the way. My father and Charlie drove up just in time to witness the almost-accident. It turned out the truck was delivering a package to my parents' house down the street. The box contained carpet tiles for Abe's and my garage, which my dad wanted to install as a surprise. What do you call almost-horrible-dramatic irony?
• Our dryer hasn't been hooked up yet, so I've been hanging everything to dry. Honestly, I can't tell a difference between clothes I've hung to dry and clothes that have been dried in a dryer. I'm beginning to wonder if my clothes dryer is a "convenience" that isn't necessarily always more convenient. I am all about skipping steps, especially when laundry is involved.
• I need to post pictures of our house. It is sort of half-finished. The outside is being painted today, which will hopefully make it look less peel-y. We still have somuchwork. I'm remembering why owing a condo sounded so appealing.

Anyhoo, hope all is well in your neck of the woods, Internets. I think it might be nap time again.

Pass the bon-bons; I could get used to this

I have a week off between jobs. I haven't been a *complete* bump on a log. I mean, we moved last weekend, and I've mostly unpacked, and I'm taking my niece to her swimming lesson this Thursday (which should be adorable), and I've set up pest control and cable and internet and phone service...

But... To be honest? Mostly, I've been napping, watching Netflix, and listening to this album.

I should probably get moving before I start growing moss. I think I might need another nap first, though.

Wednesday thoughts

As I was leaving my house this morning, two of my neighbors were standing in the parking lot talking. I didn't recognize them (I have a really hard time recognizing even close acquaintances), but they looked up at me, so I waved.

One of them bolted across the parking lot and into her condo.

It was Neighbor With Psycho Boyfriend. Thanks to my inability to recognize faces, I am pretty sure I have inadvertently become Possible Sociopath Neighbor.

Who waves (and smiles somewhat blankly or creepily, depending on whether you prefer me to be a gynoid or a Glenn Close in this scenario) at the person whose boyfriend threw poop at her front door? Apparently I do.

Oops.

*****

We are (finally) moving this weekend. There's still so much work to be done at the condo and the house. It's overwhelming, but at least we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I didn't take any "before" pictures (I am lazy), but I will try to post some "in between" pictures so that you guys can give me decorating advice.

*****

We have had approximately one week of semi-winter-like weather in Austin (and by winter-like, I mean darkish, rainy, and mildly cold), and I'm already ready for spring. Mostly, I'm just ready for Daylight Savings Time and longer days in general. Sure, I'll be sad to lose an hour of sleep, but the extra sunshine will make up for it.

*****

Abe's childhood best friend (and my prom date) just invited us to his wedding. Abe and I are both really excited for him. D's one of those guys whose done so many different, interesting things (qualified for and run the Boston Marathon, volunteered in the Peace Corps, lived in Spain, biked across country, etc., etc., etc.), that I wasn't sure he'd ever find someone who could keep up with him. However, I'm pretty sure his fiancee fits the bill. (At our wedding, I told them they'd have really athletic babies someday. This is why I don't drink champagne!)

Coming cleanish

I've been avoiding this post for about a week (because I think there's a chance I might have made a mistake) but there's really no turning back at this point, so I might as well just say it:

I am changing jobs.

(Phew. That was not so bad.)

I am downsizing (-ish), taking a job with less responsibility and less stress (and yes, less pay). I weighed the pros and cons, and while I think this is the right move, there's always an element of doubt that creeps in with capital-letters Life Change.

I had been thinking about my career a lot since I got laid off last summer. I wasn't unhappy at my current job (my coworkers are nice, the benefits are great), but I wasn't really doing a very good job at it, either. I am a person who likes programming well enough; surrounded by people who *love* it, I felt like (and was, really) the weakest link. It's hard to spend 40 hours a week feeling utterly incompetent. It's even harder when your team is so nice about the fact that you're failing them on a daily basis.

While I don't necessarily think that this new job is my dream job, I do think it could serve as a great stepping stone. If you'll forgive the mixed metaphor, I think it may just be the key that unlocks the golden handcuffs that have kept me at my non-dream job.

For now, I think that's fine with me.

In which I get into dog politics

As I mentioned yesterday, one of my friends just bred her dog. She asked me if I thought she was a bad person for breeding her (far from show quality) boxer, and I didn't know what to say.

I have strong but mixed feelings on dog breeding.

Both Bailey and my childhood dog Kahn were adopted from our local (kill) animal shelter. I intentionally chose to adopt mixed breed dogs both times (yes, even as a seven-year-old). For one thing, purebred dogs are more likely to be plucked out of kill shelters by rescue groups and I wanted to save a dog from euthanasia; for another, Bailey and Kahn were exceptionally cute. I also felt that mixed breed dogs had some advantages over purebred dogs.

I will be the first to admit that my anecdotal evidence is not valid scientific evidence. However, I will say that Kahn was exceptionally healthy for a large dog: he was 16 when he got arthritis and had to be put to sleep. Aside from a bee sting (which cleared on its own before we could get him to the vet), he never had a single health problem before the arthritis. Bailey just turned 8; although he has a nervous stomach and some allergies, he is an otherwise very healthy large dog with great joints and teeth, and is routinely mistaken for a 1- or 2-year-old puppy. I believe both dogs benefited from hybrid vigor.

On the other hand, both Kahn and Bailey grew much larger than predicted by the animal shelter. Both times, we thought we were getting 30-40 pound dogs, not 65 pound miniature ponies. We had no idea what to expect of their temperaments, coats, or exercise requirements. (Since both dogs were what my old vet Dr. Hot referred to as "a mix of every type of dog you'd expect to jump a fence in [a questionable Austin neighborhood]", we should have probably expected the following: strong prey drives, athleticism, and exceptional guard dog abilities.) Both dogs grew double coats that were not ideal for the allergy sufferers in my family. There were times when unexpected problems (Bailey's worship at the altar of non-stop barking, unexpected small animal aggression issues in both dogs, questions about whether mixed breed dogs by their very nature violate homeowners insurance rules against pit bulls) made us question whether or not we ever should have gotten dogs in the first place.

My experiences owning Bailey as an adult and helping raise Kahn as a child led me to my current position on dog breeding and adoption:

• The ideal first dog is an older dog from a shelter or rescue group. You won't have to worry about its personality changing or it suddenly growing a double coat. Frequently, older dogs have had some (or lots of) training. Older dogs are (generally) a lot less work, and a lot easier for beginners. (Yes, they love you just as much. OMG. Seriously.)
  
• Since just about everyone will ignore that advice (because OMG puppiez!!)(I am also guilty), I think there are two other good options:

1. Research dog breeds that suit your lifestyle (think 10 years from now, not just 10 minutes) and buy a puppy from a reputable breeder.
   
2. If you are a bit more flexible in terms of your requirements, adopt a puppy from your local animal shelter.
   

• Please don't get a purebred dog from a breeder on the side of the road. Please don't get a puppy from a friend-of-a-coworker who "forgot" to get her dog spayed. While I'm sure both are probably perfectly nice people, they are contributing to the problem of unwanted dogs in shelters. Please, please don't buy a dog from a pet store.
  
• Unless you know what you are doing and have an exceptionally healthy, high-quality, purebred dog, your dog needs to be spayed or neutered. The dog will be healthier and you will be saner. Bob Barker would thank you. Don't breed your purebred dog unless you have prearranged, well-screened homes for the puppies.
  

All of this is a long-winded way of asking you, Internets, how I should tell my friend I think she's made a terrible decision? How to I (gently) advise her against breeding her dog again?

"Millie" has always been a fairly responsible dog owner (aside from not spaying her dog). She loves her dog the way we should all love our dogs, and takes excellent care of her. I have no doubt that the puppies and mama dog will get proper veterinary care, and that Millie will do her best to try to find good homes for the pups. On the other hand, Millie's giving one of the puppies to her brother, who is notorious for keeping dogs until they are no longer puppies and then losing them or giving them away. She's also not entirely sure that she has homes for the other puppies.

I am not allowing myself to meet the puppies, because I'm afraid that with our new big backyard and Abe's love of boxers, we'll end up with one. I am not immune to puppy kisses.

Sigh.

Blogiverse non-awesomeness

Dear Internets,

Sometimes I am not the brightest tool in the package of lightbulbs.

This is one of those times.

A week or so ago, some guy I'd never heard of emailed me to ask me if I wanted to buy the domain jamieann.com.

"Jamieann.com?" I thought. "Surely someone is not trying to steal JamieLovely's internet identity?"

I checked jamieann.net. All seemed normal.

Mistake the first
I did some thinking. "Jamie's readers number in the thousands," I thought. "This guy probably saw my blog, realized that I blog for ten or so people (on a good day), and figured he could scam me out of a credit card number."

Mistake the second
"I'll show him," I thought. "I'm not falling for this."

Mistake the third
I archived the email and promptly forgot about it.

Fast forward to about an hour ago. Lovely Jamie tweets that someone bought her domain name out from under her.

She is freaking out.

I feel an awful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I don't know how to say this..." I start to write.

****

I feel AWFUL. Forwarding that email to Jamie with a quick, "Um, hey, WTFBBQ girl, everything OK w/your domain?" would have taken mayyyyyybe 5 seconds.

I think ultimately, I didn't forward the email because Jamie is kind of a big deal. What would she think if I emailed her out of the blue? What if all 5,000 of her blog readers/Twitter followers got the email? Surely one of them would have said something if it was legit. Worse, what if it wasn't legit? I'd look like the kind of girl who'd send money to get a Nigerian government official out of jail.

I didn't want Jamie to think I was some hayseed blogger who doesn't understand how the Internets works.

(Um, yeah. That worked out really well for me.)

The moral of this story is that the Internet is kind of like real life. Sometimes, you have to have the huevos to risk looking foolish or to talk to someone who intimidates you. Otherwise, you may end up being the person who was too distracted to save someone a lot of heartache.

Don't be a Jane.

Random Thoughts Wednesday

I guess I've been reading Kim and Hillary's blogs for too long, because feel sort of weird posting random thoughts on a Wednesday instead of a Tuesday or a Friday. However, it's my first day back at work and I'm in a bullet points-y kind of mood today, so random thoughts/Wednesday faff is what you're gonna get.

• I haven't seen my neighbor's crazy boyfriend since the poo incident. I'm hoping everything will blow over, and we will be able to move away without any more problems. I really do feel sorry for the girl -- she doesn't seem to be particularly crazy, just young. I also keep reminding myself that you should never argue with idiots, because they will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. (I think the same rule applies to arguing with crazy people.)
• Abe was kind of grumpy with me last night. I tossed and turned until he finally got up and slept on the couch. However, I think he sort of shares the blame for the debacle; I had fallen asleep for about 30 minutes when he came upstairs and woke me up to tell me goodnight. While I realize he was being sweet, my right side was sore from my stitches and vaccine and I was running a slight fever, so I could never really get comfortable again. Fortunately, we had both gotten over our grumpiness by this morning.
• One of my friends just became a backyard dog breeder. She asked me if I thought she was a bad person, and I didn't know what to say. (I thought I was going to get away with making this a random thought, but my feelings on the subject are complex enough that I think they are going to turn into a post.)
• My cubicle mate just announced that she's pregnant. I'm so freaking jealous. I keep telling myself that well-meaning family and friends would smother me with affection/questions/advice if I got pregnant right now, and that it would drive me crazy, but I keep landing back on jealous.
• I think Depeche Mode should create their own line of individually wrapped cheddar products: Your Own... Personal... Cheeses

Baby New Year seems like kind of a jerk

I almost always try to cram too many things into my last couple days of vacation. Eye appointments, vet appointments, laundry. The list goes on and on.

Today after an unsuccessful visit to the eye doctor (they changed ownership and no longer take my insurance), I grabbed fast food lunch (the healthy eating will start tomorrow, I guess), and headed home to watch bad television and finish some laundry.

I heard what sounded like a series of loud knocks on the door. Thinking it was an overly-assertive UPS guy, I opened the door.

Smashed eggs and dog poo slid down the door and into the entryway. I saw my neighbor's boyfriend walking across the parking lot away from our door and back to his girlfriend's condo.

Said neighbor's boyfriend has been known to be kind of a jerk. In the past few weeks, his (off-leash) dog has attacked Bailey twice, once while I was getting out of my car and was physically unable to get out from the middle of the dog fight. Abe and I both suggested he walk his dog on a leash to avoid future altercations. He replied that we were "f---ing f----ts." For the next few days, he made a point of creepily watching me as I walked to my car on my way to work.

Still, this latest act seemed really violent and out-of-the-blue. I called the police and the property management company.

The property manager was on the phone with another owner when I called. When she called back, she told me that she'd been on the phone with another owner whose dog had been attacked by the boyfriend's off-leash dog that morning. As a result of the morning's dog attack (as well as several other reports from other residents), the boyfriend and his dog (neither of whom were on the lease) had been evicted a few hours prior.

Apparently, the jerk boyfriend assumed that since we were the ones who'd complained to him about his off-leash dog, we were the ones who got him evicted.

Of course, when the police officer questioned him about the dog feces and eggs on our door, the boyfriend denied any involvement and said he'd seen "suspicious looking kids wandering around the complex." While the police officer is filing a report (which will help if a pattern of psycho behavior develops), it's really our word against crazy boyfriend's at this point.

To top all this off, when the police officer came by to talk to me, Bailey got so excited that he knocked a glass off the coffee table and broke it. I tried to clean it up too quickly and cut my hand.

Five stitches and a tetanus shot later, I think it's safe to say that this has been kind of a bad day.