Chicks, man

Howdy Internets. Nothing is really new in my life. I probably watch too much television. Here are some pictures of the chickens:

Pooped

Dear Internets,

I finally got a laptop (I love you, my lovely MacBook Pro). I'm finding it much more tempting to blog now that I'm not hen-pecking on an iPad.

Things are mostly good around these parts. Bullet points update on the goings-on at the Distractible household:

• I've been at my "new" job 10 months. I work from home, and for the most part, I really like it.
• We're getting the condo ready to sell.
• Abe started work as a police officer, and for the most part, he really likes it.
• The chickens started laying eggs. We average about two a day.
• Bailey is awesome. He loves having me home all the time. We're thinking of doing a joint Halloween costume: him as a dalmatian, and me as Cruella de Vil.
• We have another insane neighbor.

Wait, you say. What was that last one?

Well, we have another poop-smearing neighbor. She lives a few houses down, apparently. I say "apparently" because in the past 10 months, while we've seen and waved to her husband and daughters, we had never interacted with (or really even seen) her.

This all changed Saturday night when she tried to force her way into our house while drunk and on some type of drugs. She smeared blood (her own) and feces (hopefully not her own) all over our door. Her hands and feet were both bare.

We are not sure what, if anything, we did to make her angry. She said something about our dog, but Bailey doesn't bark, poop in neighbors' yards, or do anything that could possibly anger someone enough to go on a late-night poop-smearing expedition (as far as we know - he does spend an hour or two a week alone). She was arrested yesterday for something unrelated to the turd terrorism, so probably she's just nuts. (It was her second arrest this month, so if I had to guess...)

Anyway, that's what we're up to. Hopefully my lovely MacBook Pro will entice me to blog a little more often and my nutty neighbor will stay in jail. Miss you all.

Love,

Jane

Sunday afternoon

Hola Internets!

I've had a busy-ish couple of weeks.

I took the Friday before last off work, and Abe and I went to go see the Old 97's (The good: um, it was the Old 97's! And Rhett Miller & Sarah Jaffe sang "Fireflies"! The bad: many people there were not superfans. I caught a guy using Shazam during "Barrier Reef." Not cool, dude. The ugly: the AC was broken at La Zona Rosa. I almost melted into a simmering puddle until I realized dropping ice cubes down the front of my dress made the heat almost bearable.)

I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with friends, which I haven't been able to do much since I started working nights. We saw Texas Roller Derby, ate the most delicious hot dogs ever, and hung out at my friend's pool. It was lovely.

Then I caught a cold, slept for two days, and coughed my way through the rest of the past (busy, hot) week. The only things I managed to accomplish were reading Mike Birbiglia's book (I read it in one night - it was a great way to make insomnia a little more hilarious) and feeding the chickens cherry tomatoes.

How've you been, Internets?

Musings of the museless

source

With all my free time I have this week, I should really be doing nothing but writing (comedy, blog posts... something!), but it hasn't worked out that way. I choose to blame my spotty internet connection and the fact that I store all of my documents "in the cloud." (I'm also really nervous that I'm not going to get this all straightened out before I start working from home next week, so I've spent a lot of time biting my nails and/or on the phone with various tech support people.)

No ability to focus = random thoughts. On to the bullet points!

• I took my nephew with me to the feed store this morning so that I could make sure they sold the breed of chicks I'm hoping to get. (They do.) Charlie seemed a little afraid of the baby chicks and ducklings, but wanted to run onto the loading dock to get a better look at the heavy lifting equipment. Little boys are funny. I bought him a cap gun, because it seemed like the most irresponsible thing in the store (aside from the heavy lifting equipment). I imagine that when Abe and I have kids, payback will not be fun.
• My friend's dog had puppies. As much as I want to go sit in a box full of puppies and have them climb all over me, I think instead I'm going to send her my thoughts on dog breeding and ask her if she feels comfortable discussing the issue with me. Hopefully, she won't breed her dog again.
• We have had some interest from renters about our condo, which is kind of a relief and a stressor at the same time. I'm too young to be a landlady!
• I was almost run over by a speeding FedEx truck today while taking in the recycling bin. The driver saw me at the last minute and swerved out of the way. My father and Charlie drove up just in time to witness the almost-accident. It turned out the truck was delivering a package to my parents' house down the street. The box contained carpet tiles for Abe's and my garage, which my dad wanted to install as a surprise. What do you call almost-horrible-dramatic irony?
• Our dryer hasn't been hooked up yet, so I've been hanging everything to dry. Honestly, I can't tell a difference between clothes I've hung to dry and clothes that have been dried in a dryer. I'm beginning to wonder if my clothes dryer is a "convenience" that isn't necessarily always more convenient. I am all about skipping steps, especially when laundry is involved.
• I need to post pictures of our house. It is sort of half-finished. The outside is being painted today, which will hopefully make it look less peel-y. We still have somuchwork. I'm remembering why owing a condo sounded so appealing.

Anyhoo, hope all is well in your neck of the woods, Internets. I think it might be nap time again.

On my mind, pt. 1

Achilles (I think I'm just going to start calling him Abe from now on) and I are moving in a month or two.

We're going to live in my grandmother's house because it shouldn't sit empty; because it has a huge backyard for Bailey; because it's cheaper and closer to work.

We can't sell the condo right now, so we'll rent it out. I'm not sure that I want to be a landlord, but I think the move will be a good thing. Abe, Bailey and I aren't exactly cramped in the condo, but we'll definitely enjoy a little more room to breathe. It'll be nice to have curb-side recycling and a garden that isn't planted in pots. I'll have a compost bin, and my dad said he'll help me get started raising a few chickens.

Still, it breaks my heart a little to leave my condo. Sure, I joked that ghosts broke every appliance in my first year of home ownership, but I love the high ceilings, the natural light, the safe neighborhood, and the friendly neighbors who tell me over and over how much they adore Bailey.

My grandma's house is older, and a bit dreary. Our new neighbors have emphasized that they are not dog fans, and that they expect that Bailey will not bark. The neighborhood... is a little sketchy, sometimes.

Most likely, things will turn out fine. Most likely, we won't end up with tenants from hell who destroy the condo. We'll clean and paint my grandma's house, and it will feel just as bright and happy as our condo did. Most likely, we'll get along with our neighbors. Maybe they'll even learn to like Bailey, or at least to get along with him.

Most likely, it'll be a good step.

I'm just a little scared to pick up my foot.