Welcome to Austin! Thank you for coming to visit our fair city and dump lots of money into our local economy. We really appreciate it! Here are a few things you should know about visiting Austin:
- It's 70 degrees outside right now with no clouds in the sky. No, the weather is not always this nice. We go weeks at a time with 100+ degree weather in the summer.
- Besides, once you've lived here for a few years, you'll develop severe seasonal allergies that will often prevent you from venturing outside to enjoy the nice weather when we do happen to have it.
- Yes, the traffic is usually this bad.
- Yes, we do have scorpions. And giant flying cockroaches.
- No, we don't want you to move here. Why do you ask?
- If you go to a greasy hole-in-the-wall restaurant, it is considered rude to order off the menu. If you want a whole wheat tortilla with unseasoned white meat chicken, lettuce and tomato, you should probably just make it yourself.
- Everything tastes better with queso.
- We can tell you're from out of town even though you're dressed like a Slackers fanboy (or fangirl). Perhaps it's your aura, or the way you talk. More likely it's because you ironed your blue jeans.
- Even though you're on vacation, we're not. Please stay out of the way of commuters.
- Don't insult breakfast tacos, Bevo, Willie Nelson, or the rest of Texas (only we get to pick on our brother and sister cities), and we should all get along just fine.
Love,
Jane
1 comment:
ohhh i miss austin. i do not, however, miss sxswsters.
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