Welcome to Austin! Thank you for coming to visit our fair city and dump lots of money into our local economy. We really appreciate it! Here are a few things you should know about visiting Austin:
- It's 70 degrees outside right now with no clouds in the sky. No, the weather is not always this nice. We go weeks at a time with 100+ degree weather in the summer.
- Besides, once you've lived here for a few years, you'll develop severe seasonal allergies that will often prevent you from venturing outside to enjoy the nice weather when we do happen to have it.
- Yes, the traffic is usually this bad.
- Yes, we do have scorpions. And giant flying cockroaches.
- No, we don't want you to move here. Why do you ask?
- If you go to a greasy hole-in-the-wall restaurant, it is considered rude to order off the menu. If you want a whole wheat tortilla with unseasoned white meat chicken, lettuce and tomato, you should probably just make it yourself.
- Everything tastes better with queso.
- We can tell you're from out of town even though you're dressed like a Slackers fanboy (or fangirl). Perhaps it's your aura, or the way you talk. More likely it's because you ironed your blue jeans.
- Even though you're on vacation, we're not. Please stay out of the way of commuters.
- Don't insult breakfast tacos, Bevo, Willie Nelson, or the rest of Texas (only we get to pick on our brother and sister cities), and we should all get along just fine.