Thursday, May 7, 2009

Oompa loompa do ba dee doo

Dear Spray Tan Lady,

I look a little... orange today. I probably deserve it, though. After all, my hair would probably be red and my skin freckled if I ever ventured out into the sunlight. I should have known better than to think I could look at all "natural" with a tan.

Love,
Your friendly neighborhood vampire Oompa Loompa

****

Dear ACL Fest,

Why did you already sell out of tickets? Don't you know I need time to endlessly weigh fairly pointless facts against each other before ultimately just going with my gut? However, not having tickets myself might give me an excuse to avoid letting a friend of a friend stay at my house for the festival. Hmm...

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Internets,

You agreed with Achilles. Retro or not, some foods are just white trashy. I'm not putting away my Jello mold* anytime soon, though. I still think some of those foods are delicious.

Love,
Jane

*I don't really have a Jello mold. But I could see how having one could be really fun.

***

Dear To-Do List,

Holy crap. Why are you so long? Don't you know we're leaving for Puerto Rico tomorrow? Don't you know that the Internets needs my love and attention?

No love for you,
Jane

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Ooh! Enjoy Puerto Rico! Sorry about the ACL tickets--some could pop up on Craigslist.

sleepyjane said...

I wrote a comment and now it's gone.

I said...

I am SO jealous! ;) And that you should have fun on your trip!

reederscorner said...

Damn to do lists - you suck!

Kim said...

I hope you're having fun in PR.

My mom is famous for her jello mold.