Thursday, January 15, 2009

Who know what evil lurks in the hearts of appliances?

Dear Oven,

Why are you no longer cooking things evenly? I have even started using the $30 cookie sheet. Doesn't that make you feel like a nice, classy oven that works fabulously?

I hope I won't be replacing my fourth* appliance since moving in.

Your friend,
Jane

*Or fourth and fifth, rather, since I'd probably also need to replace the above-the-stove microwave.

***

Dear $30 cookie sheet,

I still don't understand why you cost $30. And you don't even fit in my cabinets. But I think I like you anyway.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Jane,

Stop eating cookies.

Love,
Your Waistline

***

Dear Waistline,

I eat to fill the void left in my heart when the Internets decides to only hang out with the cool kids.

Love,
Jane

P.S. Actually, that's a lie. I just like cookies.

***

Dear Internets,

Lies or not, I hear it's delurking day/week/year. Say hello! Tell me the secret to keeping old appliances from running away with my savings! Tell me your favorite flavor of cookie!

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love,
Jane

9 comments:

Suzanne said...

I just love cookies of all kinds. I am not picky.

Anonymous said...

Cookies are the source of all evil in this world. Please avoid them at all cost. If you cannot avoid them, destroy them. The most efficient way to destroy them is by placing a cookie in between the mandible and maxilla and pressing together multiple times.

Angela said...

Chocolate. Any cookie with chocolate is the best. Hell, all cookies are good. I'm even willing to tolerate nuts in cookies (and nowhere else, EWW!).

Anonymous said...

Our stove has decided it has a life of its own and switches on when it feels like it - its a little scary really!!!

Hope it can just be fixed and doesnt need to be replaced!

Diary of Why said...

Happy delurking day. :)

Tiffany & Brandon said...

I love cookies. But I love brownies more. And because I love brownies I want the edge only brownie pan. It's genius. I bet a woman thought of it!

Hillary said...

I love gingersnaps. And shortbread. And chocolate chip cookies. And ... that's it.

Anonymous said...

delurking? yeah, i think you basically know me by now! :)

and cookies...... mmm (runs to kitchen)

tal said...

does that mean that every other day is lurking day? creepy!