Crazy

It's surreal to see pictures of dogs searching a building for a gunman and think, "I used to have a French lab in that building."

My thoughts are with my friends, current and former coworkers, and everyone else around UT campus this morning. Be safe.

Love,
J

Pandora

I really love the covers of pop songs that Johnny Cash did late in his career (U2, Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, etc).

I know it's probably sort of wrong to say this, but I really wish he'd lived long enough to do a cover of Poker Face.

***

My show last Monday was so much fun. I'm going to post a recap soon. I'm doing the same set tonight (and videotaping it) - I should have the video up next week.

***

I performed at my first open mic last week. It was way less scary than I imagined. Well, except that I did a joke about green dye being toxic, and there was a guy in the front row who had tattooed his entire body (including his face and scalp) green. But whatever. Irony is funny, right?

***

One more weekend of job #2, then ACL weekend (and a house-full of house-guests), and I'll finally (FINALLY!) have a weekend off again. I'm so excited.

Scatterbrained

I'm performing stand up tonight. This time, instead of performing at a show for beginners, I'm performing at an all-female show. I'm so nervous.

***

NPR was playing Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry when I was getting ready for work this morning. Um, thanks NPR. That's exactly the type of music I wanted to have running through my head all day. I turn on NPR every morning hoping to get crappy pop songs stuck in my head.

***

My mom told me my sister's family spent yesterday at my nephew's soccer game. They actually went out to the lake to play on jet skis. I'm not entirely sure why my mom lied; it disturbs me that she thinks I would care at all, yet I also find it hilarious.

***

Achilles has most of this week off work for no real reason. I'm so jealous.

***

My weekend was too short.

Inhale...

Things that are currently making me pull out my hair (Volume 1):

• It has been a while since Austin has been in the direct path of a tropical storm or hurricane. When Hermine blew through last week, we saw a lot of flooding. Unfortunately, by "we," I mean Achilles and me. Our condo was leaking water upstairs, downstairs, and on one side. We still aren't exactly sure whether we're responsible for the repairs or whether the COA is responsible (we think the roof was leaking).
• ACL Fest is in about three weeks. Three of Achilles friends are coming to stay with us. (In our condo. That needs a lot of work. Gah. I can't take time off from either job to prepare.)
• I have two stand up performances in the next two weeks. I really don't feel ready. I've been so busy with my new job, I haven't written a lot of new material. I know a lot of comics re-use the same jokes over and over, but I get sort of bored with my jokes. (P.S. If you will be in the area and would like to come to a performance, I'd still love to see you. Just let me know if you're interested.)
• My new job pretty much involves me constantly asking my supervisor questions. He encourages the questions, is a very nice guy, and told me from the first day to expect that I'd be in his office asking questions at least 80% of the time at first. Still, every time I have to go in there, I find myself thinking, "If they have to fire someone, this is why they'll pick me." The more nervouse I get, the more mistakes I make. It's all very vicious cycle/circle-y.
• I still don't have my teaching application completed. (It's not due for two months, but I hate having it hanging over my head.)
• Achilles injured himself somehow training for the half marathon. He has to recover in time for the police academy (which is a whole other ball of anxiety I can't even begin to talk about) so I'm stuck training for the half marathon by myself.

I'll survive all this, of course. All I have to do is remember to breathe and maybe keep a few extra towels on hand. Wish me luck.

Breaking rules

I read on a "big" blog once that it's obnoxious to apologize for infrequent blogging. "No one cares!" the blogger said. "You're not special! Most people likely didn't even notice you were gone."

Her diatribe sort of hurt my feelings, as I've definitely been guilty of the near-criminal act of mentioning an extended blogging absence. I never thought of it as being self-important; I just figured it was my only way of letting my internet friends know I was still thinking about them while I was away, even if I didn't have time to leave comments or send long emails in response to their posts.

Still, her comment got to me. Who was I, really, to think that my absence from the internet (or anywhere else) mattered?

Then I realized - who was she to tell me it didn't? I don't blog for approval or attention or to feel important. I blog to connect to the twenty or so readers who feel like old friends. I've cooed over baby pictures, cried over losses, and (facetiously) threatened to cut brake lines when a fellow blogger has been crossed. (All jokes aside, Internets - my wimpy little arms and I totally have your back.) I don't need some self-appointed blogging Emily Post to tell me the rules of internet correspondence; I'll make up my own as I go, based on what feels right to me.

And what feels right to me is to apologize for being absent for the past month or so. Yes, I've been busy settling into my new job, running, spending time with Achilles, writing jokes, and doing a million other things, but there are no good excuses for being a crappy friend.

So, I'm sorry Internets. I can't promise I will magically find a way to balance my new responsibilities with everything else and immediately morph back into the comment-happy Jane you know and love, but I promise to do better.

Because nobody puts the Internets in a corner.

Or something.