Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Questions and answers
Dear end of August,
Normally, I don't wish for time to pass any more quickly than it already does, but I wouldn't mind it if you came ASAP. This summer has been long, busy, and hot.
Love,
Jane
***
Dear Internets,
On another note, what do you think I should do with my life? What are your goals for the next five years? Do you have any good ones that I can steal?
Love,
Jane
Normally, I don't wish for time to pass any more quickly than it already does, but I wouldn't mind it if you came ASAP. This summer has been long, busy, and hot.
Love,
Jane
***
Dear Internets,
On another note, what do you think I should do with my life? What are your goals for the next five years? Do you have any good ones that I can steal?
Love,
Jane
Friday, July 18, 2008
Energy Expenditures
Dear Internets,
Sometimes, I think I have less energy than most of my friends. Well, not less energy, exactly. I think it's a different type of energy.
We all like bar trivia, Rock Band/Trivial Pursuit nights, and in general, being giant nerds. But sometimes, they're a little more "let's go see the Batman movie on opening weekend," while I'm a little more "that sounds kind of exhausting, let's do a road trip to watch baby sea turtles be released instead."
Some of the other things I've suggested we do lately:
Chicken Sh*t Bingo. (I call it "Chicken Poo Bingo," because I'm not cool enough to pull off using curse words.) There's a bar here where every Sunday, they put a chicken on a giant "bingo board" (aka, a table with a grid of numbers on it) and people make bets on where the chicken will do its business. Cock fighting would never have become popular if someone had just thought of this first, let me tell you.
Topaz hunting or berry picking. Although it is about a zillion degrees outside, I think these are both activities I'd brave the heat for. It's like socially-acceptable treasure hunting! We'd be like the Goonies (or the Goonies of increasing your fiber intake, depending).
Shakespeare at Winedale. Students from UT perform Shakespeare in a barn near Round Top, Texas. It's Shakespeare! In the country! Plus, I think you can bring your own wine.
Baseball Game. Sure, not everyone likes baseball. In fact some people seriously hate it. But you can carry on a whole conversation, drink a beer and eat artery-clogging food, and still follow the game. Plus, it's the Minor League, so it doesn't all cost $792. What's not to like?
My friends just think I'm crazy, I think. Of course, I do sometimes suggest normal activities, like doing mini spa days, taking cooking classes, watching musical theater in the park, touring one of the nearby vineyards, or going cliff diving. And sometimes I can get them to go along with my plans. But more often than not, it's "Barn Dancing? You must be crazy."
Oh well, Internets. One day they'll come around.
Love ya,
Jane
P.S. I've worked a lot of extra hours this week. I'm really tempted to ask to leave 30 minutes early tonight so that I can drive out to see the Old 97's play in some place called Helote, TX. I need some Rhett Miller time.
Sometimes, I think I have less energy than most of my friends. Well, not less energy, exactly. I think it's a different type of energy.
We all like bar trivia, Rock Band/Trivial Pursuit nights, and in general, being giant nerds. But sometimes, they're a little more "let's go see the Batman movie on opening weekend," while I'm a little more "that sounds kind of exhausting, let's do a road trip to watch baby sea turtles be released instead."
Some of the other things I've suggested we do lately:
Chicken Sh*t Bingo. (I call it "Chicken Poo Bingo," because I'm not cool enough to pull off using curse words.) There's a bar here where every Sunday, they put a chicken on a giant "bingo board" (aka, a table with a grid of numbers on it) and people make bets on where the chicken will do its business. Cock fighting would never have become popular if someone had just thought of this first, let me tell you.
Topaz hunting or berry picking. Although it is about a zillion degrees outside, I think these are both activities I'd brave the heat for. It's like socially-acceptable treasure hunting! We'd be like the Goonies (or the Goonies of increasing your fiber intake, depending).
Shakespeare at Winedale. Students from UT perform Shakespeare in a barn near Round Top, Texas. It's Shakespeare! In the country! Plus, I think you can bring your own wine.
Baseball Game. Sure, not everyone likes baseball. In fact some people seriously hate it. But you can carry on a whole conversation, drink a beer and eat artery-clogging food, and still follow the game. Plus, it's the Minor League, so it doesn't all cost $792. What's not to like?
My friends just think I'm crazy, I think. Of course, I do sometimes suggest normal activities, like doing mini spa days, taking cooking classes, watching musical theater in the park, touring one of the nearby vineyards, or going cliff diving. And sometimes I can get them to go along with my plans. But more often than not, it's "Barn Dancing? You must be crazy."
Oh well, Internets. One day they'll come around.
Love ya,
Jane
P.S. I've worked a lot of extra hours this week. I'm really tempted to ask to leave 30 minutes early tonight so that I can drive out to see the Old 97's play in some place called Helote, TX. I need some Rhett Miller time.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Spoil Sport
Dear Inner Tubes,
I like you just fine at water parks, but I have absolutely no desire to sit in you and float down a slow-moving river for hours.
My name is Jane, and I hate tubing.
Some of my friends have a hard time understanding this.
Friends: "We're gonna go on a float trip this weekend, it's gonna be awesome. You've gotta come."
Jane: "No thanks."
Friends: "No, you don't understand. We're gonna float the river. In the sun. We're taking beer. It's gonna be awesome."
Jane: "No really, I'd rather not. I don't really care for tubing."
Friends: "No seriously, you don't understand. It's gonna be awesome. It's supposed to be like a hundred and two out, no clouds in the sky. And it hasn't rained in months, so the river should be super slow."
Jane: "But I'll get sunburned... And since I don't really enjoy tubing, I'd rather avoid getting burned."
Friends: "No, silly, you wear sunscreen. Duh."
Jane: "Let's talk about unicorns. "
It isn't that I don't understand how tubing could appeal to a lot of people. It's just that it's not for me.
Top 10 reasons I don't enjoy tubing:
1. I am paler than Jim Gaffigan. After an hour in the water/sun, I will burn, no matter how many times I reapply the SPF 55.
2. All that sunscreen? Will make me break out (even if I get the noncomedogenic stuff. There's only so much you can slather on your pores without clogging them). Sure, pimples on a sunburned face may sound like a one-way ticket to hotness...
3. I get seasick more easily than anyone I know. I get carsick when I'm the one driving. I can't even watch a surfing movie without feeling a little queasy. All that bobbing up and down? Not so fun for Jane.
4. I don't really enjoy sitting in the sun drinking beer for hours on end. When my friends get back from a day of tubing, they are dehydrated and already hungover, and spend the night and the next day recovering. That's the whole weekend! One only gets so many weekends in life (especially when one has a second job).
5. I just can't sit still that long... I get antsy. Sure, drunken frat boys/sorority girls provide *some* entertainment, but if I enjoyed seeing strangers' naughty bits, I'd just order "Girls Gone Wild."
6. It is kind of expensive to rent inner tubes. And a pain to haul them around.
7. I don't really like lounging in a bathing suit around a bunch of strangers. I am not uncomfortable with my body - I just don't really like sitting around in the equivalent of my underoos.
8. "No one volunteered to be the designated driver? Wow, since I'm not drinking, I guess that makes me DD. Nothing better than driving a bunch of drunks with sand in their britches 40 miles each way." **Insert sarcasm here.**
9. Gas is expensive (see above). Sometimes drunk people aren't the best at forking over gas money. I'm just sayin...
10. If I went with my friends on all of their adventures, they would have no stories to tell. And I do love a good story, even if it's of the "So-and-so fell out of their tube reaching for a beer" variety.
So, Inner Tubes... I think we should just be penpals for now. I'll give you a call the next time I go to Schlitterbahn.
Love,
Jane
I like you just fine at water parks, but I have absolutely no desire to sit in you and float down a slow-moving river for hours.
My name is Jane, and I hate tubing.
Some of my friends have a hard time understanding this.
Friends: "We're gonna go on a float trip this weekend, it's gonna be awesome. You've gotta come."
Jane: "No thanks."
Friends: "No, you don't understand. We're gonna float the river. In the sun. We're taking beer. It's gonna be awesome."
Jane: "No really, I'd rather not. I don't really care for tubing."
Friends: "No seriously, you don't understand. It's gonna be awesome. It's supposed to be like a hundred and two out, no clouds in the sky. And it hasn't rained in months, so the river should be super slow."
Jane: "But I'll get sunburned... And since I don't really enjoy tubing, I'd rather avoid getting burned."
Friends: "No, silly, you wear sunscreen. Duh."
Jane: "Let's talk about unicorns. "
It isn't that I don't understand how tubing could appeal to a lot of people. It's just that it's not for me.
Top 10 reasons I don't enjoy tubing:
1. I am paler than Jim Gaffigan. After an hour in the water/sun, I will burn, no matter how many times I reapply the SPF 55.
2. All that sunscreen? Will make me break out (even if I get the noncomedogenic stuff. There's only so much you can slather on your pores without clogging them). Sure, pimples on a sunburned face may sound like a one-way ticket to hotness...
3. I get seasick more easily than anyone I know. I get carsick when I'm the one driving. I can't even watch a surfing movie without feeling a little queasy. All that bobbing up and down? Not so fun for Jane.
4. I don't really enjoy sitting in the sun drinking beer for hours on end. When my friends get back from a day of tubing, they are dehydrated and already hungover, and spend the night and the next day recovering. That's the whole weekend! One only gets so many weekends in life (especially when one has a second job).
5. I just can't sit still that long... I get antsy. Sure, drunken frat boys/sorority girls provide *some* entertainment, but if I enjoyed seeing strangers' naughty bits, I'd just order "Girls Gone Wild."
6. It is kind of expensive to rent inner tubes. And a pain to haul them around.
7. I don't really like lounging in a bathing suit around a bunch of strangers. I am not uncomfortable with my body - I just don't really like sitting around in the equivalent of my underoos.
8. "No one volunteered to be the designated driver? Wow, since I'm not drinking, I guess that makes me DD. Nothing better than driving a bunch of drunks with sand in their britches 40 miles each way." **Insert sarcasm here.**
9. Gas is expensive (see above). Sometimes drunk people aren't the best at forking over gas money. I'm just sayin...
10. If I went with my friends on all of their adventures, they would have no stories to tell. And I do love a good story, even if it's of the "So-and-so fell out of their tube reaching for a beer" variety.
So, Inner Tubes... I think we should just be penpals for now. I'll give you a call the next time I go to Schlitterbahn.
Love,
Jane
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