Sunday, November 28, 2010

Countdown to 30

I'm turning 30 this week. I don't really wan't to talk about it.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think 30 is old, or that life is passing me by. (Helpful note to any young person who happens to read this: when you turn 25, you are not "getting SO old." However, you do make anyone older than you feel sort of matronly/spinsterly when you complain about how terrified you are to turn 27.) There's nothing I really can't do anymore at 30, except maybe be a high-dollar hooker. And to be honest, I don't know enough about the career path to know whether that particular door has closed or not.

I am in a funk, though. I don't know if it's my birthday, our upcoming move, the holidays, or just my old friend Depression rearing its ugly head, but I can't seem to clear the fog. I've disabled as many birthday auto-reminders as I can so that friends and acquaintances will forget to say anything. I'm just not in a mood to celebrate myself.

It's about time for me to post my list of "30 Things I'm Proud to Have Accomplished," for my 30 Before 30 list. I made a list of accomplishments, but I feel like posting it would be dishonest. It's not time for my greatest hits; I'm still in my sophomore slump.

I don't mean to be a downer. Soon enough, life will be all baby chickens and new beginnings, and I'll barely remember feeling so worried and discouraged.

I'm just not quite there yet.

6 comments:

Kim said...

You'll get there...sometimes depression is followed by happiness.

bcsmithereens said...

Baby chickens? Maybe there's something you're not telling us, and that's the reason you're in a funk...

Really though, Jane, try not to let the big 3.0. get you down. Get Achilles to wine and dine you, maybe take in a little comedy performance, and forgedaboudit! You're still so very young!!!

Cheers to you.

D

DiaryofWhy said...

Yeah, I hear ya. Maybe something is in the air.

In any case, I wish you the best birthday ever. :)

miss petite america said...

i've been feeling the same way lately and i'm solidly in my 30s :)

i very much looked forward to 30 bc at the time i was very excited about starting a new chapter. i thought of who i was at 20, how much i had grown during my 20s and was eager to 'take the next step', not really knowing what that was. but just the promise of it got me excited.

you'll get there too. :)

Deidre said...

Happy Birthday!

I am sorry you're in a funk.

doahleigh said...

I'm turning 30 next week! I hope yours was good despite not wanting to talk about it.