Pass the bon-bons; I could get used to this

I have a week off between jobs. I haven't been a *complete* bump on a log. I mean, we moved last weekend, and I've mostly unpacked, and I'm taking my niece to her swimming lesson this Thursday (which should be adorable), and I've set up pest control and cable and internet and phone service...

But... To be honest? Mostly, I've been napping, watching Netflix, and listening to this album.

I should probably get moving before I start growing moss. I think I might need another nap first, though.

Sleepy. So sleepy.

Dear Floor,

You are looking very inviting this afternoon. Especially the little section directly under my desk. I'd like to curl up in that spot and take a tiny nap.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Horses,

It has taken me a long time to admit this to myself, but I have to do it. You are a hobby for rich people. I am not rich people. It is possible that we will have stick to admiring each other from afar.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Giant Gorilla (on top of the gas station by my house),

The gas station upon which you are standing (floating? continuously inflating? tied semi-securely?) has been open forever. However, you make me smile. There is nothing I love more than a giant gorilla advertising a grand opening.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Lottery,

Could I spontaneously win you? It would be kind of nice. I'd be super responsible and not waste my winnings on things like horses and giant inflatable gorillas and extra space under my desk.



Promise.

Love,
Jane

Muddled

Dear Internets,

Things I am currently baffled by:

• The Universe sent me breakfast tacos and Girl Scout cookies today. I asked for donuts, but honestly I prefer the tacos and cookies. Can the Universe read my mind?
• I put "spend gift cards" on my to-do list. Who does that? What self-respecting, childless 20-something needs to schedule shopping trips?
• Do mortgages become subprime if the house loses value? I mean, the 20% equity that makes a mortgage prime? un-subprime? traditional goes away. What is the definition of subprime?
• Why am I too lazy to consult Google to find out the definition of subprime?
• Why am I disappointed that there are no crappy comedies out that I want to see? Why don't I have the energy to see an "Oscar movie"?

Maybe I just need a nap. I hope you have a wonderful, un-befuddled weekend Internets.

Love,
Jane

Cold, sleepy, etc.

Dear Internets,

I am finding it impossible to concentrate on anything except how nice it would be to go home and snuggle in bed until Daylight Saving Time returns. How do those of you who live in colder/darker places than Texas survive the winter?

Yours curiously,
Jane

Joker laid an egg

Dear Internets,

This just in: I'm still sleepy, and I can't stop singing goofy Christmas songs.

I don't think I can keep blaming time change for my mental fogginess; in fact, I think my daze is a result of the training I've been in this week. I'm taking a course to learn C# and .Net.

Learning a computer language in a week might not be too difficult for the average person, but I have the following things working against me:

• I was a French/Art History major who thought it would be more practical to take geology classes to fulfill my science credits requirement than it would be to take computer science classes, and thus, I have a relatively small amount of programming experience.
• My brain is only slightly larger than a pea.

Therefore, my brain is pretty much full. All I have really had energy to do during the evenings is sit around and hum. (Yesterday I did manage to go get my hair cut, although I sat through my appointment in a daze. The stylist could not seem to stop fluffing my hair. "What a great curl!" she kept saying. I left looking like I'd stuck my finger in an electrical outlet.) If I held my knees and rocked back and forth, I'm pretty sure I'd rock myself to sleep.

Jingle bells, Batman smells.

Earlier, as I was humming "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," I remembered that as a child, I operated under the assumption that the story behind the song was set in Texas. I don't know what reminded me about that, but man, I was one misguided kid.

Nevermind that it rarely snows in Texas, let alone on Christmas Eve, or that I didn't meet anyone who drank eggnog until I was 17; Grandma was clearly from the Lone Star State. I am pretty sure I believed that people outside of Texas didn't have grandmothers and waited for Père Noël instead of Santa. (I also spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about tourists who wanted to "mess with" my state, but that is neither here nor there, except that WOW, look at what advertising DOES to children.)

Hmmm... I thought that I had a point there, but I think I forgot what it was.

I am going to go to bed now.

Love always,
Jane

Is it sad...

Dear Internets,

Is it sad that I still have a MySpace account? I don't really look at it anymore. I figure I'll just leave it until all my "friends" drop off like flies and my only remaining MySpace buddy is Bailey.



Sorry... All I have wanted to do since Daylight Saving Time ended is to go to sleep when it's dark outside (i.e. most of the time). I swear tomorrow will bring a real post.

Love,
Jane

So tired...

Dear NaBloPoMo,

I'm only posting today because I have to. Which means I'm essentially wasting the Internets' time. But in 16 days, I will finally get a day off after working 38 days straight. Yay for Thanksgiving!

I'm going to go sleep now.

Love,
Jane

Go to bed, Jane

Dear Woot:

You are the devil. I need to go to sleep.

Must... turn... off... Woot-Off...

-Jane

Caffeine, Caffeine.... Last night I had an awful dream...

Dear Excedrin,

Why do I always forget that you have caffeine? Yesterday, I took one (just one!) of you around 5:00 in the afternoon. I remembered about the caffeine around 2:00 a.m. this morning, when I was laying in bed mentally composing blog posts and my Oscar acceptance speech and wondering why I felt so bouncy.

This morning I don't feel so bouncy.

You are on my list, Excedrin.

~Jane