Scene: the CVS near my office. I am on a five minute break at work. There are about four customers and two cashiers.
I place my Chex Mix and Coke Zero on the counter.
Cashier: Hello. I'll go ahead and take what you have in your pockets, too.
I stare at the guy for a minute. He smiles at me weirdly. I take my car keys from my pocket and hand them to the cashier. He pretends to scan them, then rings up my other items.
Cashier: That'll be $4.50 please.
I pay. The cashier hands me my items and my keys. I say "Thank you," and leave.
Am I wrong in thinking that interaction was totally bizarre? Did the cashier really think I was shoplifting, or was he just trying to make conversation? Who did the better job one-upping the other person? Me, for actually emptying my pockets, or the cashier, for pretending to scan the contents? (I am afraid, Internets, that the winner in that contest may have been the cashier. After all, I wasn't really being intentionally ironic when I handed him the keys - I was mostly just horrified that he thought I might be a shoplifter.)