Holy smoke-a-doodles, Internets!
I did stand up! And it wasn't awful! My friends' videos/pictures didn't come out, but we should get the official* video in a week or two.
(*It's "official" because we had to pay for a copy.)
Both the wedding and the stand up went better than I ever could have imagined. I must have done something to get really good karma in a past life.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. (I'm open to suggestions.)