***Warning - this is a very venty and un-Jane-like post***
I still don't have a wedding dress. The wedding is four weeks away.
In normal life - normal reality - four weeks is plenty of time to find a dress. In normal life, I go into a store, try on a dress, and see if it fits. If it doesn't, no big deal! There's probably another size or another style of dress that will fit perfectly. And if I don't like anything? Well, there are always other stores. Whatever dress I find, my friends and family are unlikely to express strong positive or negative opinions about it. I have rarely, if ever, felt ugly or flabby or disgusting trying on everyday dresses. I know I've never ended up in tears.
Finding a wedding dress is completely different.
I'm convinced that no matter when you start shopping, people act like you're waiting until the last minute to shop for a dress. I started in October and was treated like I'd waited until the last minute. "Wedding dresses take at least six weeks to come in." Why that long? It's not like I want something custom made. The dress is right there, on page 23 of your catalog. It's being shipped from your distribution center. I have ordered items from Hong Kong via regular mail that arrived within two weeks. Maybe it takes so long because that's how long it takes your dresses to be shipped from Chinese sweatshops? Maybe you just want to gouge people by charging "rush" shipping? I just don't know.
Trying on dresses is even worse. They are designed not to fit off the rack. "You'll want to order a size larger and get it altered to fit you perfectly," the salesperson says. No, you want me to spend $300-$400 on alterations, on top of whatever exorbitant amount you're already charging for the dress. I have found dresses on the clearance rack at Target for $7 that fit me perfectly and make me feel like a million dollars every time I wear them. Why can't stores carry dresses like that?
What makes it worse is that when you're trying on wedding dresses, everyone has an opinion. "I really can't imagine you in anything other than a strapless white A-line dress." "You need something that isn't too plain." "You should order a simple silk dress from J.Crew."
If I try on a dress that doesn't make me feel ugly and out of shape? My mom or sister or friends or the salesperson tell me all the reasons it's entirely wrong.
I'm so done, Internets. My goal, originally, was to spend less than $300 total on dress, hair, shoes, and makeup. The dress everyone else likes (that I bitterly despise at this point, partly because I was baited-and-switched by the bridal shop) will cost $300+ just to alter.
I love Achilles. I like most of the wedding plans we've made so far (although people have definitely tried to me second guess myself whenever they have had the opportunity). I guess I should just wear the stupid dress that everyone likes just to shut them up and get this all over with. I just wish I didn't have to be there.
Thanks for letting me vent, Internets.