Yesterday, in between gazing at my navel and staring into the mirror, I decided to take a look at the search engine terms people use to get to this blog. What I discovered is that people have a lot of questions. For example:
What did one math book say to the other?A: Don't bother me, I've got my own problems.
I feel sort of guilty that I'm on the first page of the Google search results for that one. I feel like I'm luring people in with false promises of puns. Instead, they are just PUNished with my silly letters. HAHA! Sorry. Moving on.
Neil Diamond Lake Tahoe?A: YOU TELL ME, INTERNETS! Did I miss seeing Neil Diamond while I was in Lake Tahoe? Quelle travesty! I may need a moment to recover from this.
Sigh. OK, next.
What do I do if I tore a contact lens?A: New contact lens. or Lasik, maybe. Too easy!
Who is the mom on Glee?A: You tell me, Internets. I didn't even know there was a mom on Glee. I mean, there's Terri's sister and Finn's mom, and teen mom-to-be Quinn Fabray but other than that, I got nothin. I do really hope that Idina Menzel will play Rachel's mom at some point. (Yes, I realize she's way too young, but she could totally play a young struggling singer who needed to earn extra cash by being a surrogate or something. I'm just sayin.)
When was paisley print invented?A: In 1907 in England by a guy named Benny. He worked in a chemist's shop. (Kidding. Persia - Safavid Dynasty)
Sometimes it's not just answers to questions that lure people here under false pretenses.
Paisley print disadvantages*A: Seriously? There are none! All my friends are getting paisley print for Christmas.
25 and stuck in a rut.A: Read this. It probably won't really help, but it'll make me feel less guilty about luring you here.
Spiderman CupcakesA: Again, I feel guilty. You paged through 12-13 pages of Google image search results to find these blurry pictures. I can't really help much - I painted the cupcakes freehand and they immediately started to melt. I recommend the little pre-made candy cupcake toppers. Little kids prefer those anyway.
Well, I hope you can behave yourself until next time Internets.
*I really wish I could remember when I actually talked about paisley print... Hmmm....