I spend a lot of time mentally composing lists of "good advice" that I'd either like to tell my kids someday, or go back in time and tell myself. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I mentally write letters to myself at 80, or pretend I'm 80-year-old Jane writing letters to 28-year-old me.
Dear Jane in 1998,Or:
Everyone thinks they're going to marry their first serious boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't be so obnoxious.
Dear Jane in 2001,Or:
Cute boys with guitars are often cute boys with no jobs. It's fine to split the check, but don't always be the one who picks it up.
P.S. There's a very romantic picnic in your future that probably cost all of $3. If he's worth your time, he'll find a way to make you feel special once in a while.
P.P.S. Picnic guy turned out not to be worth your time either. It's still a good lesson though.
Dear Jane in 1991,Or:
"What are you going to be when you grow up?" is the most asinine question grown-ups ask kids. They're just hoping you'll say something like "astronaut" or "ballerina" so that they can wink at each other and feel smug. Most of the people who ask don't have a clue themselves. Don't feel so pressured to figure it all out before junior high.
P.S. When the time comes, remember: it is always better to have more tampons on hand than you think you'll need.
Dear Jane in 2009,And perhaps most often:
Be nice to your family and friends. Forgive them. Life is short. Be happy.
Dear Jane 2009,What is the advice you wish someone had (or would) give you? What do you want to try (and probably fail) to get your kids to understand to keep them from repeating your mistakes?
For the love of God, stop leaving sodas in the freezer!
I look forward to hearing what you wish you woulda known, Internets.