I *hate* conflict. When someone yells at me, I have a tendency to withdraw completely like a turtle in her shell rather than dealing with the person head-on.
I'm learning that it's OK to stand up for myself and work through the situation, and that usually, people are not as upset as I initially think they are. I can send an email to apologize (and also explain myself, since I'm too generally too anxious to do it over the phone or in person), and usually the response is "tee hee, we all make mistakes, I should have started with talking, not yelling, let's be besties." Dealing with conflict is not that bad.
However, whether I go for ignoring the conflict or resolving it I still end up feeling drained and ready to curl up in the corner and take a nap. I don't think it's perfectionism on my part - I don't mind being criticized, as long as there's no yelling involved.
How do you deal with people who yell first, ask questions later, Internets? Any tips that might come in handy?