Wordplay, pt. 2

Dear Fellow Trivia Buffs,

About a week ago, I challenged the Internets to a game of trivia. Here are the answers to the questions I posted, just in case Google is broken or something.

-What city was originally named Lutetia?
Paris

-What country's Latin name is Helvetica?
Switzerland

-What is the only winning poker hand that requires at least one wild card?
Five of a Kind

I promised to write a poem about anyone who gave the correct answers in the comments. Perhaps wisely, no one responded. However, I decided not to let you get out of hearing my bad poetry that easily. Here are poems for my two commenters on that post.

Saving Diva Haiku.

Diva of Finance
I wonder if her first name
is really "Saving"?

Still here? Yay! Here's more:

Talking Cupcake Double Take.

In a land where dorks defend their chairs
With baked-goods slander and awkward stares
And skirts are made of human hair

Mermaids swim by on roller skates
Cupcakes converse on gilded plates
and lady lawyers emigrate

You may learn a thing or two
like owl pellets are not poo
And things taste better with tofu

Cupcake photos tempt your eyes
(and stomachs, and perhaps your thighs)
But basil might just steal the prize

OK... I am going to stop now, before you pull an Oedipus on me and gouge out your eyes. If you are celebrating the 4th of July this weekend, have fun and be safe!

Love always,
Jane