On my mind, pt. 1

Achilles (I think I'm just going to start calling him Abe from now on) and I are moving in a month or two.

We're going to live in my grandmother's house because it shouldn't sit empty; because it has a huge backyard for Bailey; because it's cheaper and closer to work.

We can't sell the condo right now, so we'll rent it out. I'm not sure that I want to be a landlord, but I think the move will be a good thing. Abe, Bailey and I aren't exactly cramped in the condo, but we'll definitely enjoy a little more room to breathe. It'll be nice to have curb-side recycling and a garden that isn't planted in pots. I'll have a compost bin, and my dad said he'll help me get started raising a few chickens.

Still, it breaks my heart a little to leave my condo. Sure, I joked that ghosts broke every appliance in my first year of home ownership, but I love the high ceilings, the natural light, the safe neighborhood, and the friendly neighbors who tell me over and over how much they adore Bailey.

My grandma's house is older, and a bit dreary. Our new neighbors have emphasized that they are not dog fans, and that they expect that Bailey will not bark. The neighborhood... is a little sketchy, sometimes.

Most likely, things will turn out fine. Most likely, we won't end up with tenants from hell who destroy the condo. We'll clean and paint my grandma's house, and it will feel just as bright and happy as our condo did. Most likely, we'll get along with our neighbors. Maybe they'll even learn to like Bailey, or at least to get along with him.

Most likely, it'll be a good step.

I'm just a little scared to pick up my foot.

Washers and Dryers, pt 397

Dear Sears,

Here's hoping your repair service is better than your delivery service.

Your friend (at least for now),
Jane

***

Dear Dryer,

Why do you hate us? We have shown you nothing but love. However, I do thank you for breaking while still under the manufacturer's basic warranty.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Self,

Maybe next time you shouldn't be so smug about declining the extended warranty, no matter what you may have read on Consumer Reports.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear Bailey,

Please don't bite the washer dryer repair guy. Or the plumber. Or the guy who's coming out to dig the tree roots out of the sewer line.

Love,
Mom

***

Dear Inventor of the Monday Morning Meeting,

You and I are not friends. I mean, really.

Jane

***

Dear Internets,

Here's hoping your week is off to a slightly better start than mine!

Kisses,
Jane

The Flood

Dear Condo,

You are on notice! Major plumbing problems? On top of everything else? Why do you hate me?

I took you in (well, literally speaking, you took me in, but that's not the point), changed your lurid wall colors to normal, resale-friendly colors that don't make people's eyes bleed, replaced eleventy-zillion broken appliances, and kept my poor dog confined mostly to one room so that he would not rip you to shreds. And this is how you repay me: soapy water overflowing from the toilet when I try to run the dishwasher or washing machine (hmmm.... On that note, I hope this is not the straw that causes me to have to buy a new washing machine).

I am disappointed, Condo. I am beginning to think that you are enjoying this sort of abusive boyfriend role you are playing in my life. You could have at least waited until after my crazy work deadline passed to spring this on me.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should start seeing other domiciles, Condo. This just might not be working out.

Not-so-lovingly yours,
Jane

Quick Washing Machine Update

Dear Internets,

Do you ever have so much to say that you can't say anything at all? Someday maybe I will get my head screwed on straight and tell you more stories.

I do have some sort of good news. I'm thinking the ghost that haunts my condo has temperature issues: the dishwasher stopped getting hot, the A/C stopped getting cold, and the washing machine started making strange noises *only when I attempted to use warm or hot water*. So to appease the ghost (and delay potentially expensive washing machine repair/replacement) I'm just going to suck it up for a while and invest in some Cold Water Tide.

It kind of reminds me of this joke, but I'm going to try not to think about that.

XOXO,
Jane