Wednesday, February 25, 2009

We interrupt this break to bring you the following message

Dear Internets,

I have been distracted from blogging this week by boring work stuff that keeps me busy late into the evening. Don't worry; I still love you longtimes, and will be back with the remaining 19 things about me and stories about bananas soon.

In the meantime, I have decided to have a mini contest. Whoever leaves the funniest joke in the comments wins a prize. (A good prize, not a bad poem. Unless you want one.)


P.S. I've already heard the one about the pirate with the steering wheel on his hoo-hoo.


Hillary said...

ok this joke has to be said out loud:

What do you call a fish with no eye?


(if you don't love the joke, I don't want to hear about it. this is my favourite joke. in the world.)

Anonymous said...

Let's see...

How about this one...

A man was playing golf... His normal playing partners couldn't make it so he was playing by himself. Around the 4th hole he meets up with another guy playing by himself... so they decide to play together.

So they're playing and talking... "What do you do?" "I'm an insurance salesman... how about you?" "I'm a professional hitman."

So of course the insurance salesman doesn't believe him... "No really I am... here look..." And he opened up his golf bag to reveal a high powered rifle with a giant scope.

The insurance salesman was flabbergasted... finally he spoke "So... could you do me a favor? See my house is right over there... I think my wife is having an affair... could you look through your scope and see if it's true?"

The hitman pulled out his rifle and lined it up with the house... "well i don't know how to tell you this... but... yeah she is."

The salesman was furious... "omg... ok... this is what I want you to do... I want you to put 1 bullet through her head and one through his dick."

The hitman looked skeptical... "look buddy... that's gonna cost you $10,000 a bullet... are you sure?"

"Absolutely! Do it!"

So the hitman lined it up... and waited... and waited... and waited...

"What the hell is taking so long???"

"Relax buddy... I'm just trying to save you $10,000..."

Angela said...

How many do I get to enter? I have two right now:

Why does a chicken coup have two doors?
-Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan!

What's brown and sticky?
-A stick.

Anonymous said...

lol - these jokes be hilarious. :) i only know the really cheesy ones (no pun intended)

What do you call cheese that does not belong to you?

NACHO cheese!

yeah, we all heard that one in like 2nd grade but i still love it.

Susan in Lille said...

Awe man...I am so sorry I missed this!! But I am leaving a joke anyway.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A still.

HA! Get it?! He can't FLY! Oh...I slay me!!

Susan in Lille said...

OMG...guess those two beers did me in last night. It's a STAND, not a still...geesh...