Alphabetizing my bit sweets

Dear Kitchen Floors,

If you could magically stop being ugly vinyl, that would be awesome.

Love,
Jane

***

Dear People Who Were Supposed to Deliver my New Washer and Dryer Yesterday,

It would have helped if you'd given me more than 12 hours notice that my order had been delayed for a week and a half. I might not have spent my weekend running all over town trying to sell my dryer to a lady from Craigslist who didn't have a phone and left me (literally) 13 messages from 11 different numbers.

And I probably wouldn't have spent yesterday evening at the laundry mat, because I'd still have my old washer and dryer.

Sincerely,
Jane

***

Dear Jane,

Thanks for spending several hours yesterday reorganizing me. Perhaps you were redirecting your anger at the washer/dryer delivery people into more positive channels? At any rate, thanks! The Home Depot and Container store thank you as well. As does the local economy.

Love,
Your Kitchen

***

Dear Peanut M&M's,

I know that we've been over this before, but sometimes, you complete me. You really do.

Love,
Jane

Mmmm...

Dear Dark Chocolate-Dipped Altoids,

You are delicious. Let's be friends.

Love,
Jane

Uh oh

Dear Peanut Butter that I Keep at my Desk at Work,

Why did you turn green? This can't be good.

Love,
Jane

P.S. Why did I only discover this after I had eaten some of you?

Yummy is the new Delicious

Dear Honey Whole Wheat Breakfast Sandwich,

With your scrambled eggs, ham, and cheese, you are almost as delicious as breakfast tacos. Almost, but not quite.

Love,
Jane

P.S. In other news, I am going to a grape stomp this weekend with my mom. Attending a grape stomp is one of the things on my list of "Things I Really Want to do Someday, and by Someday, I Mean ASAP."

Mmmm.... Donuts...

Dear Blog,

I am going to take the day off*. And possibly eat a dang donut. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. Muahahahaha....

Love,
Jane

*Take the day off from blogging. After several days of working 8 a.m. to 9:00 or 10:00 p.m., I wish I could take the day off entirely... Le sigh.

Hungry Like a Jane

Dear Stomach,

Why do you always start growling by 11:00 a.m? I have been doing so well - eating fruit and a little protein (rather than a diet soda) for breakfast, and keeping nuts to snack on in my desk. Is this my body's way of encouraging me to beat the lunch rush?

Love,
Jane