I can't tell anyone I have news anymore without hearing "OHMYGOD, YOU'RE PREGNANT!"
(Yes, and I decided to tell you over margaritas.)
(No, I'm not pregnant.)
Apparently, Unemployed Jane can nap for five hours and still go to bed at her normal bedtime. Score!
I am at once very superstitious about sharing good news before it actually comes to pass, and completely unable to keep a secret. I am an (oxy)moron.
I don't actually have good news. I have lots of potentially good news that I'm terrified of jinxing. Therefore, I shall shut myself up.