Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The advice vice

Dear Internets,

I spend a lot of time mentally composing lists of "good advice" that I'd either like to tell my kids someday, or go back in time and tell myself. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I mentally write letters to myself at 80, or pretend I'm 80-year-old Jane writing letters to 28-year-old me.

For example:
Dear Jane in 1998,

Everyone thinks they're going to marry their first serious boyfriend or girlfriend. Don't be so obnoxious.

Jane 2009
Dear Jane in 2001,

Cute boys with guitars are often cute boys with no jobs. It's fine to split the check, but don't always be the one who picks it up.

Jane 2009

P.S. There's a very romantic picnic in your future that probably cost all of $3. If he's worth your time, he'll find a way to make you feel special once in a while.
P.P.S. Picnic guy turned out not to be worth your time either. It's still a good lesson though.
Dear Jane in 1991,

"What are you going to be when you grow up?" is the most asinine question grown-ups ask kids. They're just hoping you'll say something like "astronaut" or "ballerina" so that they can wink at each other and feel smug. Most of the people who ask don't have a clue themselves. Don't feel so pressured to figure it all out before junior high.

Jane 2009

P.S. When the time comes, remember: it is always better to have more tampons on hand than you think you'll need.
Dear Jane in 2009,

Be nice to your family and friends. Forgive them. Life is short. Be happy.

Jane 2060
And perhaps most often:
Dear Jane 2009,

For the love of God, stop leaving sodas in the freezer!

Jane 2009
What is the advice you wish someone had (or would) give you? What do you want to try (and probably fail) to get your kids to understand to keep them from repeating your mistakes?

I look forward to hearing what you wish you woulda known, Internets.



Katelin said...

oh man i wish someone had told me it's okay to not have a boyfriend because the guy i'm meant to be with is already waiting for me. that would have made my single life a lot better, haha. and i wish someone had told me to not wear leggings as pants when i was a kid and that jnco pants are not cool, haha.

Walter said...

Leave the past to the dead and remember only its lessons. And setting example for the kids, action speaks louder than words, let us make sure that we practice what we preach.

Most children are the repetition of their parents. This should not be the case. Children learn by the action of their parents. :-)

mrs.notouching said...

Somebody should have introduced me to alcohol way earlier. Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question.

Hillary said...

I wish that someone would have told me that I didn't need to use sex as a way to keep guys interested in me. It would have saved me a lot of heartache in my early-twenties. It's also why I hope I never have daughters.

Elizabeth said...

I wish someone would have encouraged me to go to the college I really wanted to go to--mine was fine, but I don't know what I missed out on.

I would tell myself to be nicer to my mom as a kid.

Rachel said...

I have a lot of letters I would write to myself, mostly involving stupid, stupid things with boys.

Kim said...

I would have told myself to have more fun and not be so serious all the time. I'd appreciate it later.

doahleigh said...

Dude why do you keep putting sodas in the freezer? Stop yo!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

ohhh the cute boys with guitars comment, welcome to my life. BUT, I wouldnt change a thing,