Friday, October 31, 2008

It's a slippery, bullet points-riddled slope

Dear Internets,

Happy Halloween! I have a busy day ahead of me, so I'm resorting to bullet points again. I promise to try not to make this a habit*.

*I lie. What'll really happen is that I'll make lots of empty promises about not having a bullet points habit. I'll swear I'm just a casual user. You'll begin to notice that I've started to sneak mini-bullet points in to otherwise decent posts, in a desperate attempt to hide my increasing reliance on them. You will suspect there's something wrong, but not know whether or not to say anything. Then one day you will come to my blog and find me passed out by the sofa, surrounded by half-finished, disjointed ideas and little black diamond shapes. With your encouragement, I'll get help, and make a lot of progress. You'll tell me you're so proud of me. Then the pressure will get to me, and I'll have a frightening relapse. You'll wonder if it's time to just let me go so that I don't take you down with me. Finally, I'll make it through with you by my side. Our relationship will be stronger for it. Then we'll sell our story to Lifetime and retire young.

Ahem. On to the bullet points:
  • Achilles got a Roomba during the last Woot-Off. Now a robot cleans our floors, which I think is very Jetsons of us. I asked Achilles if we could name her Rosie.
  • I also made a purchase for the household during the last Woot-Off. I got Achilles one of these. Because I'm classy like that.
  • My friends are refusing to go out for Halloween because they're afraid of being forced to give blood samples by media-attention-seeking APD officers. I keep trying to tell them that we won't be drinking and driving, so we shouldn't have to worry, but they seem to be under the impression that police officers will be standing on street corners with syringes. But perhaps they're right - I don't have very good luck with police officers on Halloween.
  • Tomorrow is the first day of NaBloPoMo. Prepare yourself to be dazzled by thirty days' worth of odes to bananas.
Have a safe and happy Halloween, Internets!

Love always,


Dan said...

First, I see nothing wrong with bullet points. They offer an efficient means of communication, clearly distinguishing between seperate thoughts.

Second, Achilles is a lucky man to receive that. AWESOME!

Third, WTF! Maybe I won't be moving back to Austin. That is absolutely ridiculous. Why is APD so stupid? I have hated them ever since I got pepper-sprayed at the Mardi Gras fiasco. I guess thats better than getting shot for being mentally retarded or tazed for being a minority.

Finally, good luck with NaBloPoMo!

p.s. Why didn't I use bullet points for this?

tal said...

wow! tonight i plan on being an absinthe fairy and will be staying far away from austin! (but if nyc starts breath tests for the subway i am so outta here!) i need dog costume pics!!!